Saturday, July 4, 2015

Ultra Boy: Hot or Not?

From one powerhouse to the next, a group of candid women with no real Legion knowledge will evaluate which is actually the hottest.
Our honorary Legion members are...
Art Girl - Can't look at orange next to another color. No, not can't. Won't.
DJ Nath - Can't read and walk at the same time. Follow her You-Tube channel, Mind Linked, which she telepathically shares with her sister Lip-Bomb.
Havana Nights - Can't put pictures and words together in her mind. So it's entirely ironic that she's contributing to a comic book blog.
Lip-Bomb - CAN read and walk at the same time. #MindLinkFail.
Shotgun - Can't listen to music and stop herself from dancing at the same time.
Moderator: Siskoid - Multi-tasking master.

Ultra Boy (AKA Jo Nah) comes from Rimbor, a crime-infested planet. He was swallowed by a space creature while trying to escape such a life, where he absorbed radiation that gave him powers very much like those of Kryptonians, with the added challenge that he can only use one at a time (so much switch between super-strength and invulnerability constantly during a fight, etc.). Ultra Boy is a doer much more than a thinker. Because he is so powerful, others often regard him as nothing more than a dim-witted powerhouse. In fact, he has to be quite cunning in applying his powers because of the way they work. He often surprises others with unexpected versatility. Because of his background, he is also a bit of a bad boy.

First impressions on Ultra Boy

Havana Nights: He looks very masculine.
DJ Nath: Masculine is a good word.
Art-Girl: The muscles, oh my god, they're... a lot and everywhere.
Havana Nights: Reminds me of a Harlequin Romance hero.
DJ Nath: He could ride a horse while holding you in his arms kind-of-guy.
Art-Girl: White stallion, in the sunset... with a bouquet of flowers.
Havana Nights: And the fact that he surprises others with versatility when they think he's just a brute works well into the Harlequin Romance genre.
Shotgun: The colors remind me of Robin's.
Art-Girl: Weird version of Robin Hood with those boots, you mean.
Lip-Bomb: The boots are kind of jesterish.
DJ Nath: The boots are silly.
Shotgun: I like that logo thing on his chest.
Siskoid: The logo is now understood to be the symbol of his former street gang, the Emerald Dragons.
DJ Nath: Badass name. Symbol reminds me of an eagle?
Lip-Bomb: Yeah, me too.
Art-Girl: For me it's the Condor in "The Mysterious Cities of Gold". Same shape and colors.
Shotgun: Costume is more elaborate than the others we've seen. OH JESUS! Hishands are bigger than his face!
Siskoid: Forced perspective, I think.
Lip-Bomb: You'd think the colour combo would be too Christmasy, but it's actually pretty cool.
Art-Girl: The colors are just the right tones. Just orangy enough not to be Christmasy.
DJ Nath: Yeah I like the colors, neither distracting nor boring.
Art-Girl: He seems to be an awkward kisser in the surprint.
Shotgun: But it shows he has some charm if he can get that far.
Havana Nights: He's a bad boy with a surprising side... We're still well into Harlequin hero territory.
DJ Nath: Never been much into the whole bad boy thing, but it's not unattractive. Just looking for something more stable I suppose.
Shotgun: I like how he's just twirling a guy over his head in the surprint. AND he's using him to hit the others. Badass!
Havana Nights: I feel like the way he has to use his powers would make him pretty good in bed.
Lip-Bomb: He's so resourceful!
DJ Nath: Good point Havana. Would know when to switch things up.
Havana Nights: He'd definitely keep things interesting on dates too... We're at the restaurant... No! Now we're at mini-putt, etc.
DJ Nath: Hahaha, speed dating.
Art-Girl: What is up with the space serpent thing?!
Lip-Bomb: I feel like being swallowed by a space fish and finding your way out should be s standard hero test.
Siskoid: He IS called Jo Nah.
Shotgun: Looks like he has awesome hair.
Havana Nights: I'm not crazy about the hairstyle.
DJ Nath: I'm cool with the hair. Dark hair is nice and they don't look super-stiff either.
Art-Girl: Nice wave, good flow.
Havana Nights: Hovers dangerously close to a mullet.
DJ Nath: He could use a trim in the back, that's true.
Shotgun: I wish there were a close-up of his face.
Lip-Bomb: He kind of looks like the sun is in his eyes.
Shotgun: Or, you know, super pissed.
Art-Girl: Or he's some relation to Clint Eastwood.
DJ Nath: Needs sunglasses.
Havana Nights: He had a tough childhood. He's allowed to be pissed.
DJ Nath: I know it's a power stance, but the clenched fists kind of annoy me, for no specific reason.
Shotgun: And they're again clenched in the surprint.
Art-Girl: That's the thing I don't like the pose. Too powerful? Too stiff? Just too manly?
Shotgun: Yes, you're right, he looks super-stiff and uncomfortable. Relax, man!
Havana Nights: YOU try to relax when you've lived inside a fish.
Lip-Bomb: He seems like he would wake up early in the morning.
Art-Girl: And three dozen eggs every morning,
DJ Nath: So Gaston, haha!
Havana Nights: Hahaha... Then he'd go chop some wood to build you a fire.
Lip-Bomb: I don't mind the muscles as much as usual, but what is going on with his shoulders?
DJ Nath: Shoulders for DAYZ!
Havana Nights: The fact that he's a doer not a thinker attracts me... I think it would be a nice change to my over-analyzing things.

Long hair?
Siskoid: You were talking about the longer hair. The older version of Jo went even longer.
Art-Girl: Awww noooo!
Havana Nights: Definite mullet.
Art-Girl: What is that?!
Shotgun: HAHAHAHA!
DJ Nath: Haha Jesus, he's been through some crap here!
Havana Nights: The nipple disturbs me.
Art-Girl: That's not even a mullet anymore, it's just a woman's hair.
Shotgun: Now he's the PRINCE in Beauty and the Beast.
Lip-Bomb: Does he kind of look like Charlie Sheen?
Art-Girl: Check those veins.
DJ Nath: The veins are terrifying.
Havana Nights: He'd be good lifeguard material. Reminds me of some guys I used to work with.
Shotgun: Never been a fan of ponytails on men, personally.
Art-Girl: Not ponytails, but I like long hair, well washed long hair.
Lip-Bomb: This is too 80's action star. His pants are torn. His shirt his torn. Thank God his gloves are alright!
DJ Nath: He could be played by JCVD.
Shotgun: I don't like the look of G.I. Jo Nah but oooooh, a tattoo! I love tattoos! Just, you know, less fluorescent green.
Lip-Bomb: I'm glad the logo makes an appearance.
Art-Girl: Tattoos are hot. He's like a romance novel cover that moms read.
Lip-Bomb: I can't relate to this version at all. I feel like all he'd say were cheesy one-liners.
Art-Girl: What happens if they're really funny?
DJ Nath: He looks more like an action figure than anything else.
Lip-Bomb: Yeah... devoid of personality.
Havana Nights: Still squinting though.
Lip-Bomb: Someone get this man sunglasses haha!
Art-Girl: Heart-shaped. Green ones.
Siskoid: And from then on, they often drew him with longer hair.
Havana Nights: Don't mind this last picture.
DJ Nath: Costume is cool in this last one.
Shotgun: I like it. Long hair, nice flow, pretty cool suit.
Lip-Bomb: He looks like Aquaman in this one.
DJ Nath: Yeah I like it too, colors are cool together.
Shotgun: Long hair, but no bangs. That makes a huge difference as far as the look goes.
Havana Nights: Yeah, bangs on a guy, it's just not a Good Idea.
Art-Girl: Bangs are something I find very feminine.
DJ Nath: I find myself missing the jester boots.
Art-Girl: Not me, those boots can just stay in the back of the closet.
Siskoid: Third pic has a trim suggesting it, second had pouches doing the same.
DJ Nath: Yeah, but it's not the same, hahaha.
Lip-Bomb: So is he going through his to do list in this one? "Light beams? Check!"

On his relationship with Phantom Girl
His girlfriend is Phantom Girl (AKA Tinya Wazzo) from the dimension of Bgtzl. She has the power to become intangible and walk through walls. Her personality is normally sweet and cheery, but she does have a temper and does not tolerate sexism, for example. She may be in one of the Legion's longest-standing relationships, but she's a fiercely independent woman. (Full disclosure: Many fans do not like her Who's Who picture, below, because the artist makes her look too much like a "real person" as opposed to the usual superheroic ideal.)
Havana Nights: Oooohhhh, I like her!
Art-Girl: Me too.
Lip-Bomb: Is that seriously her hero suit? Because that is amazing.
Havana Nights: The outfit? No.
Art-Girl: What don't you like about the fabulous 70s jumper, Havana?
Havana Nights: That cleavage! Holy!
Art-Girl: BELLY cleavage, and I LIKE the two ponytails. She rocks the look better then I do.
DJ Nath: I mean the outfit is cool if we were in the 70s.
Siskoid: It was in fact designed in the 70s, the 2970s.
Art-Girl: Fashion always comes back.
Lip-Bomb: Or is her actual costume the background one with the "P"? It's a bit lame.
Siskoid: The background one is her original suit, the other one a more modern one.
DJ Nath: Yeah, old outfit is boring.
Havana Nights: I think what bothers me most are the white shoes with it.
DJ Nath: Black shoes WOULD look cooler.
Art-Girl: Silver shoes, for a nice shine and pop!
DJ Nath: Not sure about the circle bubble belt thing. Don't hate it, but it's a bit weird.
Lip-Bomb: But the pig tails. The pigtails annoy be.
Shotgun: I don't like the pigtails either, it makes her look like a kid. I much prefer her hair in the surprint, with the hair band.
Art-Girl: Well, I LOVE the pigtails.
DJ Nath: I really like that she has some curves and is not super thin, that's really awesome.
Shotgun: Yeah, I like that her shape makes sense. She's actually well proportioned, but nothing's exaggerated.
Lip-Bomb: Yeah, go realistic body for once!
Art-Girl: She looks fit. Like, she works out, but she still eats nachos.
Havana Nights: Nachos are yummy.
Art-Girl: Nachos are the food of angels. Along with ribs and grilled cheese.
Lip-Bomb: I would totally cosplay as her. Ok well, maybe with less skin.
Art-Girl: Hahahaha!
Shotgun: I really like her power.
Art-Girl: It's badass.
Shotgun: I'd like to be able to just go right through walls. SHORTCUTS EVERYWHERE!
Art-Girl: She's like Ellen Page in the X-Men, runs and goes through walls.
DJ Nath: Also badass, name.
Art-Girl: Catch me now, suckers!
Havana Nights: I really like her personality.
Art-Girl: Doesn't tolerate sexism. You go, lady!
Lip-Bomb: I think I'd like to hang out with her. She seems cool.
Shotgun: Independent, has a temper, doesn't tolerate sexism... I'm sure she's sassy as hell and seems quite clever.
Lip-Bomb: Let's be friends with her, hahaha.
Art-Girl: Yes! She fits perfectly.
Havana Nights: Yeah I'd invite her into the gang.
Shotgun: If she were the one we were judging, I'd say hot!
DJ Nath: Yeah, she seems like a badass in a (mostly) guys' world (I'm assuming), so eff yeah, be that badass independent woman!
Havana Nights: Would she consider us sexist because of these conversations?
DJ Nath: Most likely, we are doing a terrible thing. But I'm a feminist, so it makes me feel better.
Art-Girl: Hot and sexy, beautiful and smart.
Lip-Bomb: You could have a real good conversation with her.
DJ Nath: I think she's hot.
Siskoid: So how does she affect what you think of Ultra Boy?
Havana Nights: I like that she seems like an optimist, which would help Ultra Boy get over his childhood.
Shotgun: And they have a long-lasting relationship, so it' cool. It makes the guy seem more interesting because he's obviously tolerable. :-P
Art-Girl: He is a really lucky guy. Like, he better treat her like a queen.
DJ Nath: If she's really independent, he must be confident enough to give her some space, and that's hot.
Havana Nights: I agree. If this cool girl is with him, he can't be too much of an ass.
Art-Girl: She doesn't take any crap.
Shotgun: If you've ever been in a long-term relationship, that's always a good sign.
Lip-Bomb: He must be pretty secure and probably believes in feminism.
Havana Nights: Ooohhh, hot.
Art-Girl: He has to support what she believes in; it would be sad if not.
Lip-Bomb: She wouldn't tolerate him otherwise.
DJ Nath: Yeah, and really secure in his own masculinity so he doesn't need to dominate her.
Lip-Bomb: They share the housework.
Art-Girl: Awwwwww. This is like the couple of the year!
Lip-Bomb: Let's invite them to our next dinner party!
Art-Girl: Yes!
DJ Nath: Totally.
Havana Nights: We don't have dinner parties.
Lip-Bomb: Shush Havana, the readers don't know that.
Art-Girl: Hahahahaha, you ruined the illusion.
DJ Nath: But if we knew them we would!
Shotgun: And go camping with them. He'd carry all the bags and get the tents up, 'cause he's super-strong. If you know what I mean.
Havana Nights: Hehehe.
Art-Girl: *blushing*
Siskoid: His flash vision is a lot like heat vision.
Havana Nights: Flash vision?
Siskoid: Is what he calls it.
Art-Girl: He could put on a light show.
Havana Nights: Is that why he squints all the time?
DJ Nath: Haha it's X-ray vision, because everyone is flashing him, that's what I've decided.
Lip-Bomb: Hahaha, I second that.
Siskoid: He has penetra-vision for that, subtly different because it sees through lead.
Art-Girl: Wow, impressive.
Lip-Bomb: Everything you're saying just keeps sounding like a euphemism.
Art-Girl: .......

No live action version?
Shotgun: No live action? No shock revelation?
Havana Nights: Sadness.
Siskoid: There rarely is.
Art-Girl: Awwww, all the tears.
Lip-Bomb: Someone make that happen.
Art-Girl: Lets Kickstart this.
Siskoid: A Legion movie IS in development
Art-Girl: There's a movie!?
Shotgun: And we're gonna be experts when it comes out.
Lip-Bomb: And very judgy.
Art-Girl: We'll be the judges, with out fancy black robes and notepads.
Shotgun: Deal.

The Verdict
Havana Nights: I think he's hot-ish in a Harlequin kind of way. My type? Not necessarily. But dreamy enough.
DJ Nath: I think hot. I like almost all the outfits. Hair is hit and miss for me. He is muscly, but it doesn't bother me as much as it does usually. Not really into the bad boys, but I like that he's a man of action. That's sexy. But he doesn't overpower his awesome girlfriend. Overall, I think a solid hot from me even though I'm not convinced it we would click.
Shotgun: Honestly, my verdict isn't one... I don't know. He doesn't hook me. Ok, he has an awesome girlfriend, which makes me think he's a great guy, but meh.
Havana Nights: Gives me the urge to go read a Harlequin novel now. :-P
DJ Nath: Haha.
Art-Girl: Bad boy, solid hot. Depends on the version, but generally hot.
Shotgun: The fact that he's a doer more than a thinker bother me because I like to plan and I'd be afraid he'd ruin my plans.
Art-Girl: Minus the Robin Hood boots.
Shotgun: At the same time, a little spontaneity wouldn't be bad for me.
Art-Girl: I need more spontaneity in my life too, for sure. He could bring that to my life.
DJ Nath: Same. It's not in my nature, but it's good that my boyfriend's a little more like that.
Lip-Bomb: I say hot. Not my usual type physically, but he seems interesting. We could potentially have decent conversations. He's probably a feminist, knows how to escape giant fish.
Havana Nights: Lol. A definite criterion for a relationship! I wonder if he'd want to go fishing, or if it would conjure up too many bad memories.
Art-Girl: Hahahahaha!
Siskoid: Next! A Legionnaire with a unique look in the Legion!
Shotgun: What's going on with those clones? Because you're taking us into dangerous areas here, Siskoid.
Siskoid: Legion... different versions... meeting... it's com(ics)plicated.
Shotgun: Yeah... you want us to quote Captain Jack from Torchwood...

EXTRA CREDIT: Phantom Girl's other looks

Siskoid: Current look -
Havana Nights: BOOBS!
Shotgun: Sort hair, yessss!
Art-Girl: OMG, that's almost porn in the making.
DJ Nath: More cliché body type, but still cool looking.
Shotgun: Not really a normal body type, but yeah, sexy as hell.
Lip-Bomb: Ugh, they brought back the "P".
Siskoid: For a while, she hung out in the 20th century as Phase -
Havana Nights: Nice, looks comfy.
DJ Nath: Sweatshirt and leggings, that's a comfy outfit.
Lip-Bomb: She is the most casual hero ever.
Shotgun: Her hair is weird. Like it's too short in the front, compared to the rest.
Art-Girl: Hair looks like her boyfriend's in the older pic.
Shotgun: It shouldn't be that short over the ears. But yeah, the suit is cool.
Siskoid: For a while, she was called Apparition -
Art-Girl: Bad. Ass.
Havana Nights: Creepy eyes.
Shotgun: Ooouuuhhh, cape and full bodysuit, nice.
DJ Nath: Yeah, pretty badass, agree on the eyes though.
Art-Girl: Pretty eyes, like Storm in X-Men.
Shotgun: Spandex!
DJ Nath: This outfit looks efficient.
Art-Girl: Nice dark lipstick, love it.
Havana Nights: I'm a fan of the black replacing the cleavage.
Lip-Bomb: I like the red thing on her cape. Does she not have shoes in this? Or are they built in?
Shotgun: I appreciate the ever-present contrast between super-dark hair and perfectly white outfit. But no wonder she changes often. Imagine washing that thing, ugh.
Havana Nights: Hahaha! She never eats spaghetti!
DJ Nath: Talk about the dry-cleaning bills.
Art-Girl: Every super hero must have a maid to do the wash.
Lip-Bomb: She must have so much bleach at home.
Art-Girl: It takes skills to clean superhero spandex outfits.
Siskoid: I'm guessing she just phases through wine splashes.
Art-Girl: WANT!


1 comment:

  1. Ultra Boy first was shown only with the ability of " pentra-vison" but was then given the ability of using his Superboy set of powers one at a time which made him unique .

    While his other Ultra powers were equal to Superboy and Mon-El oddly his vision powers exceeded theirs by being able to see through lead as well as his "flash vision" being hotter than their heat vision .

    If he were re-imagined today I would like him to have a different five non Kryptonian based power options to of course be used one at a time !