Monday, July 25, 2022

Justice League vs The Legion of Super-Heroes 4

Justice League vs. The Legion of Super-Heroes #3 (July, 2022)

title: The Gold Lantern Saga Part Four
writer: Brian Michael Bendis
artist: Scott Godlewski
colorist: Ryan Cody
letterer: Dave Sharpe
editor: Michael McCalister
senior editor: Paul Kaminski
covers: Scott Godlewski & Ryan Cody (main); Travis Moore & Ryan Cody (variant)

reviewer: Russell "Bilingual Boy" Burbage

Overall Summary: 
Computo retrieves the missing Legionnaires and JLAers (and Kamandi) but the sky is still falling all over every era and twice on Sunday.  

Mission Monitor Board: 
At this point, does anybody really care? The floating name tags appear to "hover" near every Legionnaire, except when they don't. If DC doesn't care, why should I? 
Here's the list from last issue. I'm hoping most of these characters are still in the story, somewhere: Brainiac 5, Gold Lantern, Chameleon Boy, Dawnstar, Lightning Lad, Karate Kid, Triplicate Girl, Saturn Girl, Phantom Girl (I don't think so), White Witch, Bouncing Boy, Monster Boy, Cosmic Boy, Timber Wolf (I don't think so), Ultra Boy, Shadow Lass, Mon-El, Superboy, Wildfire, and Dr. Fate (nope). Not listed last time but in a panel or two this time: Dream Girl (NFCM Girl), Colossal Boy, Computo (didn't recognize her last time),  

Supporting Characters:
The Justice League: Batman. Who else matters? Oh, Bendis-created Queen Naomi gets quite a few scenes (surprise!) Black Canary gets a few lines (not worthy of her) and Black Adam, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Hawkwoman, and Green Arrow Boy also appear. Also, Rose Forrest shows up, because why the hell not, right? And totally wasted in a cameo, Alan Scott Green Lantern. 

Opponents:
mediocre artist, confused colorist, awful writer, worse editor

Summary:
The issue opens with Brainiac 5 sending out a warning to anyone who might hear him to close the Great Darkness, even if that means sentencing all the missing heroes to their various fates in the past. 

Brainiac 5 we soon learn is actually back (?) in the days of the Great Disaster with Kamandi. He, Queen Naomi, and Mon-El come across an abandoned structure containing obsolete technology. However, Brainy ends up using Naomi's cellphone and Mon-El's flight ring to create a communicator. 

what does this exchange between Brainy and Mon-El MEAN?!? 

In the 31st Century, Rose Forrest shows up and leads the Legionnaires (and Batman and Black Canary) to the United Planets, where the President tells them that she has "the best people" working on the Great Darkness problem. Dr. Jones is not impressed. 



She doesn't have a contingency plan if everything goes BOOM, though. 

Stereotype Lad: What are you planning to do if everything ceases to exist? 
President:  ------- 

Somewhere else, Gold Lantern meets Alan Scott, just as they witness a bi-plane fly into the Great Darkness and come out in the 31st Century. 


In 1962 Metropolis, Colossal Boy gets big when he gets excited. He's big with Wonder Woman and Dawnstar. 

Suddenly, Computo communicates to all Legionnaires that she is going to retrieve them back to their correct era via their flight rings. 


When they arrive back in the 31st Century, Green Arrow is a teen-ager and Black Adam is elderly. 


Batman suddenly gets serious, just as the situation gets worse: a huge building is blotting out the sky! 


Russell's Review: 
If you have been reading these reviews of mine, you know that this series is not pleasing me. So let's cut to the chase. Without any ado, I present, "Russell's Top Ten Worst Moments In This Book." 

1. Brainiac 5 starts the story by communicating with us when he is incommunicado. Shouldn't this be....I dunno, Computo? 

2. Black Canary is shown in several scenes to be losing it. This is not the Black Canary that I know and love. 

3. Rose Forrest is "the adult who runs things." EXCUSE ME!?!? (Also, she's known as Rose & THORNE?! WTH?!?) 

4. The Legion runs to----be outside, and stare at the Great Darkness some more. 
Run! Because....uh....

5. The Legionnaires stand around in front of the United Planets and expect them to do something....? Is this the Legion, or isn't it?!?!

6. Green Lantern Alan Scott shows up (hooray) but.....does nothing. I guess that's par for this course. 

7. Batman Beyond is also here, for ONE PANEL, and does nothing. Literally.  

8. We are told that Mon-El's flight ring isn't just a flight ring, but....huh? Throwaway nuggets like this are the worst, because we are never going to find out what this exchange is about. Infuriating. 



9. We get a two-page spread of Colossal Boy lying on his back in downtown Metropolis, and it's a total waste of space. Meanwhile, we don't see where Superboy, Green Arrow, Blok, and God knows who else went when they disappeared, but oh, hey, they're back. 

10. The art is confusing, and sometimes just bad. The last full page spread (yes, another one) is of...a building reflecting the Great Darkness....? (see above)

Summary: this issue sucks. I have never said this before about any series ever, but I would be OK if it just stopped. It's that awful. Let's pretend it never happened at all. 

Status: 
This issue is sure to be reprinted in the collection Justice League vs The Legion of Super-Heroes, which will probably go on sale in December 2022. Reserve your copies now. ;-) 
Addendum to this comment from last month: Make that distribution date March 2023. This book is chronically (heh-heh) late. 

11 comments:

  1. Can we just name this as the worst Legion of Superheroes series ever and then go home? BTW what the h... is the the great darkness?

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  2. Bendis has been a bane for the Legion.
    It is true that after this series wraps up Bendis is leaving DC? (at least the comics sides of things).

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  3. Unfortunately he's leaving to write an animated series based on his Legion run for HBO Max

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    1. Well, that remains to be seen, with Warner Discovery cancelling multi million dollar projects outright. And even if it does it made, maybe having other producers, writers, and actors will rein in some of his worst tendencies. But, sadly his run on the comics will definitely be remembered as “worse than ten years of nothing.”

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  4. Just wanted to say how much I appreciate your reviews -- especially since you're taking the Bendis bullet so the rest of us don't have to. Grife, is he a tiresome hack these days.

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  5. So, so so awful. Chameleon Boy and his "momma, ma, mommy" stuff is really annoying. Wasn't Brand being his mother supposed to be a secret? So much sadness when reading this incomprehensible book.

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  6. Saturn Girl’s expression perfectly matches mine any time I see the bat symbol on a cover.

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  7. Seems like Russel is late with the next review. I can't blame him. I just hope he is in good health. I wish him the best and tell him than there is a small spark of hope in this dark tunnel.

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    1. Thanks for the concern! I was actually on vacation, and didn't take the time to read the newest issue. It's there now, though. Uggh. ;-)

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    2. Glad to know. I hope you had enjoyed your vacation. Take it easy with the review. It can make you sick.

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