Tis The Season To Be Freezin' - Polar Boy in "Snow Date"

Title: Snow Date

Writer: Rich Bernatovech

Penciller: Travis Mercer

Inker: Norm Rapmund

Colorist: Andrew Dalhouse

Letterer: Dave Sharpe

Editor: Michael McCalister

The Legion's pretty much been absent this past year while Brian Bendis worked on Justice League, Checkmate, and, I-I dunno, whatever else he's wasting time on. I don't think about him if I can help it.

Imagine how delighted I was to learn my friend Rich Bernatovech was not only writing for DC's holiday anthology - he was submitting a Legion story!

AND IT'S GOOD, YOU GUYS. LIKE SO GOOD. THE BEST THE LEGION'S BEEN IN AGES.

After interviewing Rich in my previous post, I'm now submitting a review of the story in question featuring the return of Polar Boy, Comet Queen, and the debut of a new Legion villain.

It's Comet Queen's first date with Polar Boy. While CQ's initially disappointed PB decided to stay on New Earth, her disappointment transforms into delight when she sees how PB celebrates the winter holidays.

Polar Boy shows off the magnificent ice sculptures he's created in the image of various holiday icons. See, his home planet of Tharr doesn't celebrate ANY holiday. Growing up, Polar Boy never experienced the type of joy and fun the holidays bring. As he grew older, Polar Boy learned about the vast array of holidays throughout the galaxy and sought to make a monument to celebrate their differences.

First you've got Santa Claus from Earth, who gave out totally nova gifts making people feel happy and loved.

On Durla there was Yallo, who protected her world's younglings from an invasion. Now Durlans leave snuwies every year for her as tribute.

Sajido of Dryad settled the differences between the planet's tribes and created the tradition of their yearling gatherings. Because Sajido loved sugar, Dryadians celebrate his accomplishments by eating sugar bars.

Polar Boy comments on how all these holidays - the ones he could represent - strangely happen around the same time of year no matter the planet.

However, Polar Boy's pride in his work is cut short when Comet Queen notices the statues have gone quantum-mad!

That's the WORST kind of mad!

As Polar Boy's statues come to life to cause havoc, PB and Comet Queen try to protect the innocent bystanders. Comet Queen wonders if maybe it's like that story. You know the one, where the snowman comes to life. It's a classic.

Polar Boy points out that snowman came to life because of a hat.

Comet Queen then wonders if maybe it's cuz of stardust of Trom, but as PB puts it:

While Polar Boy tries to figure who would animate his statues, and why they'd do it this time of year, Comet Queen asks if he could simply un-make them. PB clarifies he can CREATE ice, he can't make it move or un-make it.

Yet noticing how the statues are behaving, Polar Boy realizes they're not LITERALLY alive. Something's making them move, but like puppets. With that in mind, he advises Comet Queen to crank up the heat.

Now that he sees several statues are missing, Polar Boy understands this was a diversion. Asking Comet Queen to help the civilians, Polar Boy tracks down the errant ice sculptures before the holiday season's ruined.

Why, it's almost a nightmare before [COPYRIGHTED].

Tracking down Santa's elves to the Museum of Heroes, Polar Boy discovers this mischief was instigated by none other than... CAPTAIN FREEZE!

DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUU-wait who's that?

The not so jolly fellow in the blue suit is after Captain Cold's cold gun, and despite Polar Boy's best efforts the cold doesn't bother the villain. The cold never bothered him, anyway! (ohmygodRichrully)

Captain Freeze boasts about how Polar Boy's powers can't stop him, but they CAN help him instead! The bad captain has the power to manipulate and control ice, but he can't make it. He was waiting for Polar Boy's holiday plans to start so he could hijack the art for his nefarious schemes.

Apparently, it's really hard to find ice in the United Planets.

GOD DAMN YOU, GLOBAL WARMING!

Although just because Captain Freeze can control ice, it doesn't make him impervious to slipping on it. Foiled by his own hubris and left flat on his back, Captain Freeze doesn't understand why Polar Boy won't use his powers for his own hubris. Being led away by the science police, the Captain goes "BAH!"

He doesn't even add a humbug too it, HE'S RUINING THE THING!

Comet Queen swoops in and tells Captain Freeze to stop being a grinch, as she loved Polar Boy's holiday efforts and so do a lot of other people. She happily reports Polar Boy's efforts saved lives and ensured no one at the park was hurt. Though Polar Boy feels bad that their date was ruined, Comet Queen exclaims it was, like, SO mega-fetch.

GRAVA STOP TRYING TO MAKE MEGA-FETCH HAPPEN!

Since everyone loved Polar Boy's sculptures, he asks Comet Queen if he could rebuild them and then continue their date. Comet Queen loves the idea, but she first wants to try out another holiday tradition. It's called mistletoe.

...

Now that, THAT, that is how you do a Legion story!

Brek and Grava were utterly delightful and a pairing I never really thought of until now. And this is coming from someone who actually wrote a slash fic between Tyroc and Policy Pam. POLICY. PAM.

Grava was genuinely adorable throughout this story, Rich making her valley girl personality endearing without overdoing it. The poor kid definitely earned a break after the way her story came to a halt in the New 52 so it was refreshing to see her not being the butt of a joke after so long.

Brek was eager to do good and refused to take crap for his idealism. You can see the boy who wanted to be a Legionnaire so badly he helped found the Subs so he could be a hero even if he wasn't on the team.

Captain Freeze is an interesting addition to the Legion's roster of villains. When I glanced through the story at first I assumed this was the return of Cryo-King until I sat down and read it the whole tale. Being able to control ice but unable to make it is definitely the kind of power you'd see in a Legion.

...

A lot of people have been saying that this group oozes with negativity and toxic thinking in regards to Bendis's Legion series. It's true, we've said a LOT of nasty things about the current Legion. I won't apologize for anything I've specifically said, but I think the story told by Rich Bernatovech and Travis Mercer highlights all of the problems with the current Legion.

It was never about it being a brand-new Legion with new costumes and new faces attached to old names. The problem was the EXECUTION. Bendis's writing style has lacked the heart and soul of what made the Legionnaires so wonderful. When he's the one handling the story, it's like they're a hive mind. No personality and no depth. Dialog rambling on and on about NOTHING. Issues jampacked with just about every current Legionnaire, and half of them do NOTHING.

Throughout it all he spends so much time hyping up his new Legionnaire, Gold Lantern, when the newbie does pretty much nothing to warrant his amazing reputation. Yes, apparently that mystery is going to be cleared up in the Justice League crossover miniseries. However, can you blame us for being frustrated that Bendis baited us with this "mystery" for the entirety of the Legion series and is using a crossover to finally shed light on it?

How many issues did it take for us to finally figure out who the skeleton Legionnaire (X-Ray Girl) was? And that was solely due to the designs in the first trade collection. Of course there were also the two other newbies, Entropy Kid and Radius Lad, whose existence we weren't even fully aware of until their designs manifested.

Then you have the racist subtext via Bendis's portrayals of the Ranzz Twins, Karate Kid, and even Ultra Boy. Plus Saturn Girl's gross, stalkerish behavior and Mon-El's utterly unpleasant personality.

Rich Bernatovech as a writer has given the Legion fandom a story that most of us were finally able to enjoy. Was it a new Legion tale? Yes. Did that matter? No. Rich captured what Bendis's writing lacks. He clearly cares about Polar Boy and Comet Queen enough to reintroduce them for a new era, while bringing with them the true core of their personalities. Travis's designs were delightful, clear, and clean without deviating too much from the inspiration. Different, but not alienating.

As the year comes to a close and we enter into what's either the second or third year of this horrid pandemic, I'm forever grateful I got to finally enjoy a brand-new tale about the Legionnaires. If I had to support a brand-new Legion, I wish they had the kind of energy and spirit Rich and Travis brought to their story.