Title: Superman's Girl Friend, Lois Lane #47 - "The Super-Life of Lois Lane!"
Creators: Kurt Schaffenberger and Mort Weisinger
Imaginary stories were a frequent idea for DC during the Silver Age. Predating Elseworlds and the overall Multiverse theme, they were stories characters thought up in-universe about what might've been or could've been. Largely, the concept was used to tell tales about who Superman or Batman might marry.
Superman's Girl Friend Lois Lane #47 gave us a typical Imaginary Story operating on the role reversal concept. It also gave us a short appearance of the Legion of Super-Heroes. This particular Imaginary Story is one of my favorites, and served as the basis for an alternate Earth concept I've worked on for several years.
This gave us an idea of how things might go if Lois Lane was the hero, but also gave us a sneak peek at Lois Lane as a Legionnaire. It's minor, but manages to stand out due to Lois not having much interaction with the Legionnaires despite them being good friends of Clark.
The structure of this imaginary tale has Superman bringing Lois Lane to the Fortress of Solitude for a visit. While Superman busies himself in another section of the Fortress, he allows Lois free reign to use a supercomputer.
Lois poses a "what if" question for the computer, wondering what life would have been like if SHE originated from the planet Krypton instead of Superman.
The computer avoids exposing Superman's secret identity by only showing Lois a hypothetical world at a point where she's already an adult. She's still a reporter for the Daily Planet, but also fights for truth and justice under the guise of KRYPTON GIRL.
Funny she's not Krypton WOMAN, huh?
Since Lois is the one with the big secret to spill, that means she's constantly being harassed by that obnoxious Clark Kent. Lois constantly uses her super-powers in discreet, easy to miss ways to deflect Clark's nosing around. When he asks to cut a lock of her hair, Lois uses heat vision and super-breath to melt the screw so the scissors are useless.
When Clark maneuvers the two to be locked inside a bank vault (while concealing an oxygen tank and a radio to contact the police for help), Lois feigns a fainting spell and then discreetly breaks a valve on the tank to render it inoperable.
Once Clark's really in danger, he calls the police for help - not knowing Lois used superspeed to also remove the transistors out of the radio. While Clark's losing his shit, some X-Ray and heat vision turn the bank's burglar alarm on and alerts the guards to free the two.
This hypothetical world sees Lois reaching her breaking point and resigns from the Daily Planet just to get away from Clark Kent. Switching to a career in TV, Lois is horrified to discover Clark got fired by Perry White for as harassment... and now HE'S working at the same station! One night, the news station receives a report from the Coast Guard about a cruise ship sinking near Skull Reef. Clark thinks Lois will HAVE to leave to fix this as Krypton Girl.
But wait, Krypton Girl's already there while Lois is in the station!
THEN WHO IS THE PHONY????
Lois receives a telepathic message from Lori Lemaris, informing her that the Legion of Super-Heroes AND the Legion of Substitute-Heroes stepped in to lend a hand!
The Legionnaires sent Night Girl, that black haired beauty of the dark, to pose as Krypton Girl to protect Lois's identity. Since the cruise ship sunk at nighttime, it meant her powers were in full effect. The real Krypton Girl thanks Night Girl for the assist, and our substitute Legionnaire jumps back to the future with a mighty leap.
Unfortunately, Krypton Girl makes the biggest mistake of her life when she grants Clark Kent a tour of the Fortress of Solitude. Unbeknownst to Krypton Girl, Clark swipes a lead box of Red Kryptonite helpfully placed next to a sign reading "EFFECTS ON KRYPTON GIRL UNKNOWN."
What could possibly go wrong.
Through a convoluted set-up involving a Santa suit, Clark manages to get some Red K dust on Lois without her knowledge. Thinking she'll be safe because of a special lead-lined booth at the TV station, Lois's hubris is her undoing as the dust takes effect.
While in the middle of narrating "Jack and the Beanstalk" for broadcast, Lois feels a tingling sensation throughout her body and hurries out of the booth before the Red K effects take over. A quick glance with X-Ray vision shows a guilty Clark ditching the Santa suit.
Having had enough of Mr. Clark Kent, Lois pulls out a portable Phantom Zone projector gun and gets into her Krypton Girl costume. The Red K takes effect, turning Krypton Girl into a giantess. Not just any giantess, a WICKED giantess, befitting the story she'd been reading when the transformation started.
And because Krypton Girl is so wicked, she banishes Clark Kent to the Phantom Zone for constantly messing up her life!
Back in the "real" world, Lois thinks Clark got what he deserved for screwing up her Krypton Girl career. She then remembers she's not REALLY Krypton Girl, and why should she be mad at Clark when she's acted just as badly? Maybe, maybe this will be a change for the better for Lois Lane. Maybe she'll stop harassing Clark Kent, stop trying to figure out Superman's secret identity.
And she does!
Until the next issue.
I love the Krypton Girl costume and concept, but sadly this was a back-up feature in #47 despite adorning the comic's cover. We never got to see Krypton Girl's childhood nor did we get to see her really bonding with the Legionnaires, which would've really made this article appropriate for this site.
Still, it's impressive that Night Girl's implied to be so strong she can simply leap backwards and forwards through time just like the Supers if she really felt like it. I'm now wishing George Perez had included Krypton Girl in the splash page from Legion of 3 Worlds #5 alongside the other Legionnaires as a nod to this story.
Oh well.
Wouldn't that make her jump to the conclusion that Clark IS Superman?
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