And now for something a little different. Can a group of candid women with no real Legion knowledge love an alien? Their first impressions of Cham are replete with ambivalence as befits a shape-changer, and watch for the surprise ending...
Our honorary Legion members are...
Art Girl - She makes art for a living.
DJ Nath - She makes education for a living. She just got a dog. Hopefully, it isn't a Durlan in disguise.
Lip-Bomb - Nath's sister and second half of the You-Tube channel Mind Linked. She makes improv happen for a living.
Havana Nights - She makes communications for a living. But no communication with ex-husband please. The divorcee perspective.
Shotgun - She makes recycling for a living, and the only member of the group with hockey series fever. Someone get her to Medicus One, quick.
Moderator: Siskoid, secretly Cham's biggest fan, but he's not telling them this.
First impressions on Chameleon Boy
Art Girl: He's a human ant.
Havana Nights: I'm not a fan of the skin colour.
Art Girl: An orange ant.
Havana Nights: I'd prefer blue or green.
Lip-Bomb: I actually don't mind the antennae.
DJ Nath: He has this weird smirk?
Havana Nights: Yeah the smirk bothers me too.
Art Girl: Cockiness
Shotgun: I could never trust him... How could I even know if he's hot or not? There's nothing to indicate this is even what he really looks like.
Art Girl: Yeahhh... if he can turn into anything, why this?
Havana Nights: yeah, cuz he shouldn't have to be something else. (Or is that from X-Men?)
DJ Nath: I feel like he could totally just transform to keep a low profile after a one night stand.
Shotgun: Also, his torso is interminable.
Havana Nights: I can't judge someone for having a long torso and short arms! He's my brother from another mother! I sympathize, man.
Art Girl: His shoulders! They're enormous and his suit is like, shoulder pads x 10,000.
DJ Nath: The shoulder pads seem dangerous, could poke your eye out.
Art Girl: The shoulder pads are extra weapons at close range.
DJ Nath: Color scheme of the outfit is nice, but kind of weird with that skin color.
DJ Nath: I feel like his outfit is too casual, like the outfit you wear on the weekend, not very special.
Lip-Bomb: Casual ski lodge Chameleon Boy.
Art Girl: Too true. It's just plain, no shine, pattern or interest.
Shotgun: His head if way too small for his body anyway. I fear for his intellectual capacity.
Lip-Bomb: He's a bit too buff for my taste. He has like a million abs.
Havana Nights: ALL OF THE ABS!!!
Art Girl: You can grate cheese on those abs!
Shotgun: Go abs go?!? [Ed.: That's hockey fever talking. Told you it was a problem.] Man, his eyebrows would make any clown jealous.
Havana Nights: I'm not repulsed, but I'm not turned on. There's just no chemistry. He really COULD be my big brother.
Lip-Bomb: Hold up, is he in the process of becoming a frog in the background?
Art Girl: Whuttttttt???
Lip-Bomb: That is terrifying. But I want to take a bunch of selfies with this guy.
Shotgun: The fun part about that is that no one knows it's the same guy in each selfie.
Lip-Bomb: Hahah omg Shotgun, you could make everyone think you have tons of friends, but really, you only have the one.
Art Girl: I want to go to the fair with him, because he would win all the stuffed animals for me.
Havana Nights: Awh man... Chameleon Boy just got friendzoned, guys.
Art Girl: At the start, I didn't really like him, but he's growing on me. Like, I think he'd make a good dad!
DJ Nath: Yes, he seems to have strong values, according to his description.
Lip-Bomb: This guy studies instead of going to the party.
DJ Nath: Yes.
Lip-Bomb: And wakes up early in the morning.
Havana Nights: He's responsible.
DJ Nath: Looks like he'd be on the debate team.
Havana Nights: But does any of that give him more hotness points?
On loving the alien
DJ Nath: Well, personally, he'd need to be sort of human. Like in this case, he's fairly human, so it's okay.
Art Girl: I don't care about that. He's humanoid enough. It's when it's just, like, a blob of energy that it gets complicated.
Lip-Bomb: There is something slightly Vulcan about him, so I'm not thrown off by the alienness.
Art Girl: It's all about personality, really.
Havana Nights: I think the alien thing can be hot... But I still only see him as a best friend or big bro.
DJ Nath: His body is mostly human, but if he were, let's say, a dog alien, I'd be hard-pressed to think he's hot.
On the inherent hotness of shapeshifting
Havana Nights: Imagine the possibilities! Yup, my mind went there.
DJ Nath: I feel like it's a really cool power that would be totally useful in real life.
Art Girl: To my mind, he's the kind of person who would only use it when necessary. Like, he so good and honest that he wouldn't use it selfishly.
Lip-Bomb: Well, if you are into sexy role play.
Art Girl: Ohhh yessss, role-playing! This is amazing!
Shotgun: Well, yes and no. He has the potential to be our ideal, but it would be crummy for him to have to change to please us.
Havana Nights: Awww.
DJ Nath: True.
Shotgun: So I would never ask him to.
DJ Nath: I'd just want him to change so we could prank people or something. Suddenly, LAMP. Etc.
Lip-Bomb: He looks pretty reserved, but maybe when he lets loose, he's all like, Look! I'm a whale!!!
Art Girl: Awww mannnn, he could be a pony. I need him as a friend.
DJ Nath: And I mean, he could fly around and take you places. That's cool.
Art Girl: The shenanigans we could get up to!!!
Havana Nights: Friendzoned. Again.
Lip-Bomb: Aww poor *insert unpronounceable name*
Art Girl: ...Can I be his friend?
Havana Nights: I'd totally set him up with my best friend.
DJ Nath: I feel like I could date him and see. Not convinced, but if he asked me, I wouldn't say no.
Shotgun: I agree. With that power, hotness isn't important. I base my opinion only on personality. So I would try a couple of dates, yes.
Havana Nights: I think he's hot. I'm just not attracted to him personally.
Art Girl: He's not for me. I'd want him as a buddy and I'd set him up with a friend. But if sparks start flying, I couldn't say no.
Lip-Bomb: I feel like someone would set me up on a blind date with him.
Havana Nights: Lip-Bomb, want to meet this awesome guy?
DJ Nath: Seems like a stand-up dude who would hold doors open or something.
Art Girl: And bring you flowers. And tell you you're pretty.
Havana Nights: You mean BECOMES THE FLOWERS.
Lip-Bomb: Well, now I'm almost convinced to say hot.
Art Girl: Me too!
Post-scriptum: This is what happened when Siskoid showed them what Durlans "really" look like:
Art Girl: What? Like, what what what?
Lip-Bomb: I was wondering about the robe situation in the first picture.
Lip-Bomb: Very… tentacly.
Art Girl: I am troubled.
Havana Nights: So many tentacles.
DJ Nath: More tentacles than expected.
Lip-Bomb: So does he have a face? Like in the human sense?
Siskoid: No, just more tentacles.
Art Girl: NOOOOOOOO! I did not come here for tentacles!!!
Lip-Bomb: So he's a blob of tentacles in a robe.
Havana Nights: I think he should stick to being flowers.
DJ Nath: Not gonna lie, that makes me uncomfortable.
Art Girl: I did not come here for weird anime!
DJ Nath: Not dating an octopus.
Shotgun: Date - Maybe. Relationship - Nooooope. I don't want any squid kids. I like Montreal, not Detroit. [Ed. - Again with the hockey references; where's Dr. Gym'll?]
Lip-Bomb: Aww Shotgun, he has hands though. You could hold hands. And you could always hope the kids get your eyes. Or a your face.
Well, that's one way to end a Legion chat. Next time, the girls take on their first actual Earthman!