Saturday, May 23, 2015

Invisible Kid I: Hot or Not?

What happens when we let a group of candid women with no real Legion knowledge deliver their first impressions of the original Invisible Kid? For entertainment purposes only. Rated PG-13.
Our honorary Legion members are...
Art Girl - Is invisible because she lives in the deep outskirts of town.
DJ Nath - Is invisible in that way librarians can be.
Havana Nights - Wears camouflage pajamas in an effort not to be seen by those who would have her do household chores.
Lip-Bomb - Has an invisible means of communication called telepathy. Follow her You-Tube channel, Mind Linked, which she shares with her sister Nath, along with her very MIND.
Shotgun - Not invisible. Definitely not stealthy.
Moderator: Siskoid - Wishes he WERE invisible.

Invisible Kid (AKA Lyle Norg) is a super-scientist who created an invisibility serum. This biochemistry genius graduated from university at the age of 8 and set about helping humanity with his gifts. Quietly competent, he tends to push himself because he fears he's not as powerful as other Legionnaires; his social life takes the biggest hit, though he was a friendly sort of person.

First impressions on Invisible Kid
Art-Girl: Wow. His face, I don't hate it. But I don't love it.
Havana Nights: I think he looks sweet.
DJ Nath: Aww, yeah, he looks really nice.
Art-Girl: His intelligence intimidates me!
Lip-Bomb: He looks really nice!
Art-Girl: Seems really sweet and generous.
DJ Nath: Another useless headband, which is kind of annoying.
Art-Girl: The headband doesn't bother as much since it doesn't have a useless gem on it like Colossal Boy's. This is just the headband you wear to the gym.
Shotgun: Well he needs to look sporty so his opponents think he's a dumbass.
Lip-Bomb: The drawing in high up in the surprint, it's like he's saying "Look! I'm doing sports!!"
Art-Girl: Hahahahahaha.
DJ Nath: Haha aww. Yeah, seems like he plays squash or something, just to say he plays a sport.
Art-Girl: And you don't want your sweat to get into your eyes.
Havana Nights: He has a polo shirt.
Shotgun: Weird color choices.
DJ Nath: Yeah, awful colour scheme.
Art-Girl: Weird is the word, Shotgun. Horrible is more like it. Orange, green and brown, nononononononono.
Lip-Bomb: I don't know if it's because we were talking about penises last time, but that green thing.
Shotgun: That green thing on his shirt? Cripes, that IS a green penis.
DJ Nath: Yup, totally agree. Looks like a penis.
Havana Nights: I'm sure he didnt mean it as a penis.
Havana Nights: Guys, stop being mean to the nice boy.
DJ Nath: Is it a symbol for something? Like for science? Ha ha!
Lip-Bomb: Penises, Nath, it's the symbol for penises.
DJ Nath: Hahaha
Art-Girl: That's his real super-power, super penisssss.
Shotgun: Super smart penis.
Art-Girl: Yesss.
Siskoid: Well this went off the rails quickly.
Havana Nights: I feel like his personality would make him really insecure in bed. Was it good for you? Really? Are you sure?
Shotgun: Ok, so he's not very physical so he has to disarm a senior citizen?
Lip-Bomb: Digging his hair. I have a thing about hair.
DJ Nath: Yeah, good hair, good flow.
Art-Girl: He looks like someone who would come to your office wit surprise flowers. Surprise chocolate.
Shotgun: No, really, am I the only one who thinks his action shot with the old man less than convincing?
Art-Girl: ...surprise car.
Havana Nights: SURPRISE PENIS!
Shotgun: Surprise boyfriend, since he's invisible.
Havana Nights: Hahaha! Everything is a surprise!
Lip-Bomb: Hold on, the serum he invented, it's permanent and switchable? He's invisible... when he likes?
Shotgun: Maybe that's why his suit is so awful, no one supposed to see it.
Art-Girl: From the description, he seems so willing to please everyone and you can see it in his expression and posture.
Lip-Bomb: I feel like he could be funny.
Shotgun: He looks like he's asking me for the next dance.
Lip-Bomb: Or at least clever.
Shotgun: And that's both cool and cute.
Havana Nights: Well, he's smart.
Art-Girl: I'll dance with him!
Havana Nights: Right. I'm sure he's a gentleman.

On the Reboot costume
Shotgun: Ahh yess!!!
Havana Nights: It's like he's standing in fog.
Shotgun: No, he's just disappearing.
Art-Girl: I just want to admire all those muscles that are just right. He doesn't make me scared of getting crushed when he hugs me.
Lip-Bomb: His hair would be really cool in the 90's. Also, I still like it.
Art-Girl: I am intrigued!
Shotgun: But still with the awful headband.
Havana Nights: Yeah the look is hot... And he's a little more of a bad boy here.
Lip-Bomb: Reminds me of Shawn Hunter from Boy Meets World.
DJ Nath: Totally.
Shotgun: The jacket is the best.
Havana Nights: I like it.
Shotgun: So the penis on the other one, it was a "i" all along?
Art-Girl: The "i" on the last costume was a fail.
Lip-Bomb: I don't know where theses heroes are getting their jackets, but I want all of them.
Art-Girl: Like, if I saw him in real life and he talked to me with his badass attitude and, like, a nice voice and the right words, Art-Girl would giggle and turn red.
DJ Nath: A+ on outfit minus headband.
Lip-Bomb: In the old and new version he's not intensely muscly. That makes me happy.
Art-Girl: Me too, he has just enough muscle; his real muscle is his brain.
DJ Nath: Yeah, way into not huge men.
Shotgun: True, not too muscled. I like the brain vs. muscle contrast.
Havana Nights: Well, he's brains, not brawn.
Art-Girl: And he's a badass, cool guy, but still super-gentlemanly.
DJ Nath: Yeah seems like he might always try and one-up people, but still likeable.
Art-Girl: So how did he get a uniform that vanishes like he does?
Havana Nights: Maybe he washed it in the serum. A man who does his own laundry. That's hot.
DJ Nath: #Fact
Lip-Bomb: Haha.
Shotgun: Yessss.
Lip-Bomb: He looks less sweet here though, potentially pretentious. I still don't hate that though.
DJ Nath: Invisibility is a pretty cool power, but more passive, which seems to fit with his personality.
Art-Girl: I'm not sure how, but I think I'd have some fun with his powers, as long as he doesn't vanish my clothes.
Lip-Bomb: Hopefully, he's honest, because invisibility, man.
Havana Nights: He looks honest.
Shotgun: I think it's sad that he has to prove himself to the others. Not cool, guys.
Lip-Bomb: I hope he sings a theme song for himself in his head.
Shotgun: He's a genius... who cares if he's not super-strong?
Siskoid: I have a couple of shocking reveals, when you're ready.
Art-Girl: Ohhh no, I love this guy, don't ruin it!
Havana Nights: Ok what are these shockers?
Shotgun: Alright.. I'm intrigued, go! He's a virgin?

Shocker #1: He is gay
Art-Girl: Gasp emoticon!
Havana Nights: Oh noes! The best ones always are!
Shotgun: Oh!
Art-Girl: Damn it.
Lip-Bomb: Aww man… he was my favorite.
Shotgun: Well that's just sad for us. But I wanna be his best buddy. Is he, like, super flamboyant?
Siskoid: It was never expressly shown in the comics, but it was strongly hinted that he had a relationship with another male Legionnaire (yet to come on this series).
Art-Girl: With all the upcoming Legionnaires, we'll be like, he's the one, stop hiding it!
Havana Nights: An INVISIBLE relationship.
Shotgun: Aww damn!!!
Art-Girl: My favorite and you rip it away from me Siskoid, f-------
Lip-Bomb: Ooooh
Shotgun: Oh no!!!
Shotgun: What if he made himself invisible because he couldn't deal with his sexual orientation. Poor guy.
Lip-Bomb: Awwwww heartbroken!
DJ Nath: It's so symbolic that a gay character has invisibility.
Shotgun: Now I'm sad
Art-Girl: I'm sad now too.
Havana Nights: I wish he were my best friend.
Shotgun: Now I wanna hug him and tell him that it's ok.
DJ Nath: Well, since he can't be a boyfriend, we would certainly be his friends. He seems cool and he could probably do math for me when I need it.
Shotgun: Nath, come on... I can do your math for you.
Lip-Bomb: …maybe the green penis is a subtle hint?
Art-Girl: Makes so much sense!
Shotgun: Oh God...
DJ Nath: #Subtlety

Shocker #2: He is dead
Siskoid: Invisible Kid is one of the few Legionnaires to die in action, crushed by the monstrous Validus.
Art-Girl: Frown emoticon. OMG!
DJ Nath: Dead dead?
Havana Nights: Oh noes!
Lip-Bomb: Oh come on! NOOOO!!!
Havana Nights: My heart!
DJ Nath: Awh man, super bummer.
Art-Girl: You ripped him even more away from me, Siskoid. You're just cruel!
Shotgun: I was invested in him. I wanted to know him and maybe be besties.
Art-Girl: I wanted to be there for him and, like, go antique shopping with him every Sunday!
DJ Nath: Crushed as well. Kind of a dig at the fact that he's not insanely strong. Well, that's sad.
Havana Nights: Poor ex new gay best friend.
Shotgun: You cannot kill that boy genius.
Art-Girl: You a-hole.
Shotgun: Look at Validus' face... or lack thereof.
Siskoid: Well, it's the Legion... it was rebooted several time and Invisible Kid lived again - to wear that black suit, for example. [This comment drowned out by the shouting]
Shotgun: We will avenge you!!!
Art-Girl: You took him away once and  now twice, my heart it like triple crushed.
Lip-Bomb: F--- that guy. Invisible kid's brain is better that your brain.
Art-Girl: You say it, Lip-Bomb!!!
Siskoid: Crazy Legion lore... Validus is the mutated baby of Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl stolen from birth by Darkseid.
Art-Girl: .....
Havana Nights: Nooooooo!
Shotgun: OH COME ON NOW!
Lip-Bomb: I have complex feelings about all this. You weren't invisible to us!!
Art-Girl: Never. You were always there. I will always be there for your as a friend and a companion.
Shotgun: So he died in the brown ugly suit. Hopefully they gave him something nicer for the funeral.
Art-Girl: They couldn't find him for a funeral.
DJ Nath: Man... that's sad.

The verdict
Shotgun: I wouldn't date him... He's gay and dead.
Art-Girl: Crushed, I'm completely crushed!!!
Shotgun: Was he cremated? Then super hot!
Havana Nights: He's hot in that unattainable way.
DJ Nath: I agree.
Art-Girl: Well, this falls in the same category of my crush on Freddy Mercury.
Shotgun: We would have fought over him, but sadly...
Lip-Bomb: He's still hot. Obviously not datable for me, but hot.
Art-Girl: Hot, but I also agree with Havana.
Shotgun: Yep, he's hot. But not the brown/green/orange/puke costume.
DJ Nath: Seems like a nice guy, driven and ambitious. I like that in both my boyfriends and my friends so I'm cool with that.
Art-Girl: I would grow a penis for him, haha. But just having him in my life, even as a friend, would bring me joy. We could go shopping, and them play games, and eat chips...
Shotgun: Plus, super smart.
Lip-Bomb: I feel like we could be clever and pretentious together.
Shotgun: Always good to have a smart friend.
Art-Girl: ...and he would listen to my problems and be there for me...
Shotgun: Makes me miss Science Rooster [might have been in the group, but for a trip to Ecuador] and her science facts and judgment.

Next: If they like brains, have we got the Legionnaire for them!

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