Sunday, June 21, 2015

Happy Fathers' Day!

Today is Fathers' Day here in the 31st Century. 
To help celebrate throughout the United Planets, 
please feel free to take this Super Father Quiz! 

1. As a new father, would you rather have a son or a daughter? 
a) It doesn't really matter.
b) I want a son so I can experiment on him.
c) I want a daughter so I can experiment on her.
d) Neither, they are what I call "mistakes."

2. You find out your wife is having your second child. What's your reaction? 
a) Great, maybe we'll have a girl this time!
b) Great, we're well on our way to creating our own Fatal Five!
c) Great, the LSV health insurance covers up to three spawn
d) Has Sun Boy been around lately?

3. You are with a woman who already has a child. What do you do? 
a) You tell the child you hope to be friends.
b) You plot to have the child swallowed by a space lizard.
c) You plot to leave the child on a planet full of lightning beasts.
d) You find a different woman with less baggage.

4. Your son has a Validus-sized temper and snaps at you. What do you do? 
a) Speak to him in a calm manner and find out what's really bothering him
b) Calm him down, then spank him for raising his voice to you.
c) Help him channel his anger outwards, towards his father's enemies.
d) Operate on him to make him super-strong.

5. Your daughter has an attitude all the time. What do you do? 
a) Talk to her to try to figure out what's really bothering her
b) Let her mother deal with it
c) I don't care
d) Operate on her to make her super-strong

6. You decide to take your children on a family vacation.  
a) You ask them where they would like to go.
b) You take them to Orando. It's lovely this time of year.
c) You take them to Bismoll. You'll save plenty on your food budget.
d) You take them to Lythyl. That will teach the little brats to behave.

7. Your daughter brings home a boy of another alien race. What do you do? 
a) Talk to him and get to know him.
b) As long as he's not Durlan, he's fine.
c) Mind-wipe him so he never comes around again.
d) Murder him.

8. Your son brings home a boy of another alien race. What do you do? 
a) Talk to him and get to know him.
b) As long as he's not from Cargg, he's fine.
c) Slip him a dose of Profem while he's not looking.
d) Murder him.

9. Your teen-ager has decided to go to Earth to try out for the Legion. What do you do?  
a) You tell her you're proud of her and give her a hug.
b) You make him think he's an android so he won't go.
c) You lock her up in your Grimbor 2000 child-restraints so she won't go.
d) You vow, "The next time we meet, I will kill you!"

10. As a father you will stop loving your child(ren)....
a) Never.
b) As soon as they leave the planet.
c) As soon as *I* leave the planet.
d) Stop? I haven't even started yet.

So how did you do?

if all your answers were "(a)".....

You're Jonathan Kent.
You're a Super-Dad!

if most of your answers were "(a)" with a few "(b)"s thrown in.....

You're RJ Brande.
You're doing the best you can

if most of your answers were "(c)"....

You're Universo. 
Love doesn't come easy for you....
hypnosis does, but love doesn't

if most of your answers were "(d)"...

You're Darkseid. 
Give up your children to UP Social Services. 

Happy Fathers' Day, everybody! 


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