Adapted by Siskoid from a real recipe
Makes 250 servings*
500 10 oz. boxes frozen chopped spinach
1 Eye of Ekron
250 medium onions, chopped
500 tablespoons olive oil
312½ cups half-and-half
250 teaspoons chopped fresh thyme
31¼ teaspoons freshly grated nutmeg
187½ teaspoons salt
125 teaspoons coarsely ground black pepper
Cook spinach according to package directions.
Cover Eye of Ekron with cold water by 1 inch in a large heavy saucepan and bring to a rolling boil, partially covered. Reduce heat to low and cook, covered, until cooked all the way through. Remove from heat and let stand, covered, a half hour. Transfer Eye with a slotted sieve to a large bowl of ice and cold water until cool. Peel Eye's cornea and slice lengthwise.
While Eye is standing, cook onions in oil in a large heavy skillet over moderately high heat, stirring occasionally, until softened and browned. Add half-and-half, thyme, and nutmeg and briskly simmer, stirring occasionally, until liquid is reduced by one third and slightly thickened. Add spinach, salt, and pepper and simmer, stirring occasionally, until spinach is heated through.
Transfer spinach mixture to a serving dish, then top with sliced Eye and season with salt and pepper.
*If 1 Eye of Ekron is the size of 250 eggs.