Saturday, October 10, 2015

Ferro Lad: Hot or Not?

A group of candid women with no real Legion knowledge tell us if each Legionnaire is hot or not, hard or soft, handsome or ugly...
Our honorary Legion members are...
Art Girl - If she were metal, she'd be Nth metal. (She is not going to get this joke.)
DJ Nath - She's drippy, drippy mercury.
Lip-Bomb - Hair the color and tensile strength of copper. Co-star of Mind Linked, on You-Tube, with her sister DJ Nath.
Science Girl - Cold as steel.
Shotgun - The silver bullet.
Moderator: Siskoid - Dull as lead.

First impressions of Ferro Lad

Ferro Lad (AKA Andrew Nolan of Earth) was one of twin mutant boys who were born with the power to turn into living metal (with the strength and invulnerability that came with that), but also disfigured faces. Consequently, they wore iron masks. Ferro Lad is rather okay about his deformity, especially since the other Legionnaires don't treat him differently. He's friendly and cheerful, though sometimes shy, but if he has an overriding characteristic, it's self-sacrifice.
DJ Nath: I already like the name.
Shotgun: So it's Leo DeCaprio?
Science Girl: No hair. I don't even know.
DJ Nath: Basically the Man in the Iron Mask, yes haha.
Art-Girl: Ohhhhh I kinda like it. I am intrigued by this!
DJ Nath: Me too, some mystery there, even though his costume is super tight and leaves little mystery about his body.
Shotgun: I like the bolts/buttons on his boots and chest plate. It creates a metal suit effect (which is probably the case, anyway).
Art-Girl: Since we don't see his face, he could look like whatever you wanted, dark black thick hair!
DJ Nath: Feels very futury.
Shotgun: His eyes are super intense in the background.
DJ Nath: And I like the belt, that's cool.
Lip-Bomb: I'm liking the suit. Colors are pretty cool.
Science Girl: Could we go camping with this guy? Like, what if it rains? He's wearing all metal.
Shotgun: OH NO!
Art-Girl: He's probably rust proof. He needs to be!!!
Science Girl: I'm guessing.
Art-Girl: That would be so inconvenient.
DJ Nath: Hopefully not like the Tin Man. Don't want to start bringing oil everywhere I go.
Shotgun: How do you travel with him?
Science Girl: Can't go through security.
Siskoid: He can switch back and forth.
Shotgun: But the suit...
Science Girl: Well good, we can go on our honeymoon in Paris.
DJ Nath: I really hope he makes "I'm so metal" jokes all the time.
Shotgun: Oooohhh.
Science Girl: Seconded.
DJ Nath: I also hope he listens to classical music.
Art-Girl: Well, he is shy so in my mind, he does a few things on the quiet side. like classical music, maybe painting.
Lip-Bomb: He kind of looks like he's flailing in the drawing.
Art-Girl: He water colors, in my mind, for some reason.
Shotgun: I just realized who he reminds me of! More clothes, but his mask totally recalls Vega's from Street Fighter.
Lip-Bomb: Oh I agree!
Science Girl: In one of the drawings, it looks like he's punching a guy while holding a pumpkin.
DJ Nath: Haha agreed, so bonus points.
Shotgun: It's probably a bomb but, I prefer the idea that it's a pumpkin.
Art-Girl: He's getting ready for Halloween.
Lip-Bomb: Multitasking points!
DJ Nath: Interesting that he seems to have eyebrows over his mask.
Art-Girl: Weird.
Science Girl: Gotta keep them, brows on fleek.
Art-Girl: Maybe he's frowning intensely, and is going through the mask.
Shotgun: Also, cool that his emblem is just Fe.
Lip-Bomb: The emblem looks a little bit like it was drawn on with a marker...
Science Girl: True. I got this million-dollar metal suit and a 2$ sharpie.
DJ Nath: Maybe he built his costume from scratch. Maybe we could do Pinterest projects together.
Art-Girl: I like it, Fe, for iron on the periodic table. Chemistry!
Shotgun: So... twin? This intrigues me a lot.
Siskoid: What do you think of twins in general?
Science Girl: Am I supposed to have a strong opinion for or against twins?
Art-Girl: It's a weird thing that happens in a woman's uterus, I don't like it.
Lip-Bomb: Does he have a good relationship with the twin?
Siskoid: I think so.
Shotgun: The twin must be a villain if I know my comics stuff.
Siskoid: He goes mad at one point, yes.
DJ Nath: I'm fine with twins, but I find they have issues with being compared all the time.
Art-Girl: Does the twin have super powers?
Siskoid: He's exactly the same, he's in the background top picture.
Shotgun: Oh God... is it even the same exact suit?
Art-Girl: The red and blue are reversed, I hope!
Siskoid: Yes, the twin was eventually shown in red instead of blue, good guess.
DJ Nath: Were they dressed alike as kids too? Feel like there would be a great risk of grabbing the wrong butt.
Science Girl: Do they have almost identical names? Like Andrew and Andre.
Art-Girl: Andrew and Alfred! It needs to be a name that starts with an "A".
Shotgun: Ferro and Forre.
Siskoid: The brother is called Douglas.
Science Girl: Douglas? Lame.
Art-Girl: Douglas...
Lip-Bomb: DOUGLAS..!?
Art-Girl: How...
Shotgun: Aaahhh, well that was unexpected.
Science Girl: Doug.
Art-Girl: Uninteresting!
DJ Nath: I like Douglas, unpopular opinion.
Lip-Bomb: I mean Ferro Lad's called Andrew. It's pretty normal too.
Siskoid: I can tell you the story shown in the background now...

On his death
Ferro Lad died early in his career when he personally took a bomb inside a Sun-Eater, a weapon of mass destruction that eats stars, so Superboy wouldn't have to die doing so.
Shotgun: So... he's dead.
Art-Girl: He's already dead???
Siskoid: Or he won't be born for another 950 years.
Science Girl: Aww that sucks, I liked him.
DJ Nath: That's really selfless.
Lip-Bomb: Another dead one... I'm going to get attachment issues.
Art-Girl: REBOOT!
Art-Girl: OMG.
Shotgun: "A mutant whose non-human face was kept hidden behind a mask... life... this".
Lip-Bomb: That is the worst eulogy. Who was in charge of writing that?
Art-Girl: Sun Boy!
Science Girl: SUNN BOYYYY!!!
Siskoid: He looks like he's writing it right now. With Ferro Lad's favorite magic marker.
Science Girl: *Shakes fist*
Art-Girl: It's horrible.
DJ Nath: Seriously, make it a little more sentimental, he saved people.
Art-Girl: ARGH!
DJ Nath: Maybe there will be a second paragraph.
Art-Girl: Dammit Sun Boy, ruining everything.
Lip-Bomb: Well he didn't stay up all night preparing, that's for sure...
Art-Girl: What if he did? That makes it worse!
DJ Nath: I guess it was pretty sudden.
Science Girl: We should write him a better eulogy.
Shotgun: Also, is it Christmas or something? WHERE ARE THE FLOWERS?!
DJ Nath: Yeah, a Christmas wreath is a weird choice.
Lip-Bomb: Actually, wreaths aren't uncommon  on tombstones.
Shotgun: Well, they're normally more floral than that.
Science Girl: Ferro Lad, even his death was pretty metal.
Siskoid: Behind the scenes, he was killed off because his creator wanted him to be the first black Legionnaire, and despite it being kind of pointless since no one would ever see under the mask, the editor was dead set against it - this was 1966, not that that's any excuse - so the writer killed him because he couldn't do what he wanted to with him.
DJ Nath: Man, racism sucks.
Shotgun: Aaawww that's just awful.
Lip-Bomb: ...sigh. Racism sucks.
Art-Girl: That's kind of selfish! I can't do what I want, so I'll kill this poor innocent person.
Siskoid: At least it's a hero's death.
DJ Nath: Yes true, literally went out with a bang.
Science Girl: Ferro Lad - he died because of racism. Screw that.
Lip-Bomb: I'm sad now. I liked him. He was disfigured and was still super chill and happy. He seemed like a cool guy.
Art-Girl: He was like the Phantom of the Opera, but metal and futuristic.
DJ Nath: Everyone that's good dies. Multiple times.
Siskoid: Well... it's comics...

On the SW6 Ferro
At some point in the future, Andrew was resurrected as a temporal clone, now using the shorter name Ferro, and sporting a tweaked costume. Also, he's in a band with Matter-Eater Lad.
Art-Girl: METAL BAND! :)
Shotgun: HE'S IN A BAND!
Science Girl: My God, that's so 80's.
Shotgun: YESSSSS!
Art-Girl: That's fantastic!
DJ Nath: I love that he's in a band, that's perfect.
Lip-Bomb: "Is that how they rocked in the Dark Ages?"
DJ Nath: Also, Daft Punk anyone?
Shotgun: Actually, Matter-Eater Lad in this pic... Hello!
Art-Girl: Big plus with me!
Science Girl: His emblem is on his face.
DJ Nath: It's so no one confuses him for another masked metal dude.
Art-Girl: There's a Mondrian painting or poster in the background!!!
Shotgun: I prefer the color scheme of this costume. But not the mask.
Lip-Bomb: The mask is a little bit toaster-ish.
DJ Nath: Yeah, a little boxy. Is the music too loud or does he really not hear?
Siskoid: Too loud, they're both shouting.
Art-Girl: It must resonate a lot in there.
Lip-Bomb: He has kind of a knee and shoulder pads thing going on. Is he going rollerblading?
Science Girl: I'd totally rollerblade with him.
DJ Nath: He has really nice hands, hands are important.
Art-Girl: Hands are super important.
Lip-Bomb: True, the hands are great.
Shotgun: His mask must be the worst crap for peripheral vision. Like, how can you fight with a toaster on your head? So many blind spots!
Lip-Bomb: I'd totally be the girl who goes to see him play a gig.
Art-Girl: I would be that girl too.
DJ Nath: I feel like he's a great musician, but he doesn't bring his guitar to parties because that would be annoying for other people. I like him.
Art-Girl: People who bring guitars to parties...
Science Girl: Urgh.
Art-Girl: Yes, he's not one of those.
Lip-Bomb: I agree Nath! And I bet he'd be the designated driver at that party.
Shotgun: Yep, would totes see one of their gigs.
Art-Girl: And in my mind, he also plays the piano. Or even the keytar.
DJ Nath: Also, I love that they have a rec room, for activities.
Shotgun: And he plays bass too, that's cool.
Art-Girl: Bassists and drummers are always the best.
Shotgun: Bassists and drummers are so underrated.

On the Reboot Ferro

After the Reboot, Ferro comes from the 20th century where he showed bravery trying to stop a Sun-Eater (again). This time he survives and is asked to return to the 31st with some time-lost Legionnaires. In awe of the group, he accepts and serves as a member until the next Reboot.
DJ Nath: Mask is a little Iron Man-y.
Art-Girl: I like that we see his arms, it's not the usual full suit.
Shotgun: Short sleeves uh... not a fan.
Art-Girl: Makes it different. But he must be cold!!!
DJ Nath: His outfit looks surprisingly comfortable under the circumstances.
Art-Girl: It looks like it does the job, while being comfortable, and without looking awful.
Shotgun: He looks ready to face our Canadian climate.
Art-Girl: Canadian snow!!! No problem!
Science Girl: With those exposed arms? I don't think so.
Shotgun: But it doesn't seem to bother him... that's my point. Except metal and cold... eesssshhhh. You make out and your tongue gets stuck.
Science Girl: Ew.
DJ Nath: He would be adorable with a big scarf and some mittens.
Lip-Bomb: YES someone make that. I need him with a scarf and mittens!
Art-Girl: I'll knit him one for our first Christmas together.
Lip-Bomb: He looks less buff than the other versions. I like the level of muscliness. And I like the cuffs. Can I get some?
DJ Nath: Only if you want to get stuck in a lamp! Sick Aladdin reference!
Science Girl: The mask is less small-appliance-y here.
Art-Girl: I like the belt!
Shotgun: Such a gent too. Saving a damsel in distress.
DJ Nath: I would feel safe walking around at night with him, so shiny.
Shotgun: I agree. I would walk around at night with that guy without even wondering about my safety for a minute.
Art-Girl: I wouldn't need to keep a pocket knife or scissors in my purse with Ferro there. And he would walk me to my door.
Science Girl: *throws away pepper spray*
Lip-Bomb: I feel like you could have a nice conversation with him. Maybe not as much in a large group because of the shy thing, but like a nice dinner with a few people.
Lip-Bomb: Oh no, they forgot to write his "Fe" on there. I have just the thing *takes out sharpie*.
Shotgun: Maybe it isn't him. HOW CAN WE KNOW?!
Siskoid: As you can see, here he actually has darker skin.
Shotgun: Yeah noticed that. Cool that they would go with that idea.
DJ Nath: You take that, past racists!
Lip-Bomb: I'm glad they made him darker skinned.
Art-Girl: I agree.
Siskoid: Sorry, it's a lighting trick, he was still white.
Art-Girl: ...damn it.
Science Girl: Boo, past racists.
Art-Girl: Boo indeed.
DJ Nath: Aww well, bummer then.
Shotgun: So he never dated anyone? Is it because he's dead?
Siskoid: That and his disfigurement, presumably.

The Verdict

Science Girl: Hot like the hot coffee drinks we would be drinking together.
Art-Girl: Hot, he seems like a gentlemen, will respect me and take care for me when i need him there, but will give me space. He's in a freaking band and he's musical, which is nice. We would both have something artistic to share with each other that is not the same thing; I'll show him my prints and painting and he'll show me the bass and drum. I think he's a keeper.
DJ Nath: He seems like a really great guy. I would go hot, but I feel like I would have a hard time not seeing his face. I read facial expressions to know how someone is feeling, would be difficult for me. Maybe we could build a trusting relationship and break down the mask barrier. Either way, I go hot, he seems like a great guy that just needs a chance. Also, guys in bands are hot.
Shotgun: Maybe his eyes are super expressive and we'd the rest of the face much less to read his emotions.
Art-Girl: The face thing I could get used to. Maybe one day, he takes it off just for me, at home.
Siskoid: Is this a Phantom of the Opera/Beauty and the Beast romantic thing?
Art-Girl: Yes. Yes it is. And that's why I want to date him. I want to be the one he trusts to let dow his guard and I will never hurt or harm him. And he's in a band!
DJ Nath: Yeah it kind of is, makes you want to care for him even more. Let's give everyone hugs!
Art-Girl: *group hug *
Lip-Bomb: Hot! He seems sweet and kind. A trustworthy guy. And he has extracurricular activities. It's important to have something other than work.
Shotgun: *Sigh* This is gonna be tough. I feel he has potential for something. I just don't know what. I won't hide the fact I'd want to see his face. The main feature I like on a man is his smile, so it clashes hardcore with that. But he looks super sympathetic, and he plays in a band, and he tends to sacrifice himself for others, so clearly, he's not self-centered.
Science Girl: I feel like we could've enjoyed this guy more if people from the past weren't so racist. Damn past people and your past racism.
Art-Girl: Damn bad people.
Siskoid: Present racists can go screw themselves too.
Science Girl: True.
DJ Nath: In conclusion, racism is bad.
Science Girl: And this guy is hot.
Art-Girl: Racism is awful.
Siskoid: You read it here first!
Art-Girl: Journalist of the Year, Science Girl.
Shotgun: "Group of Candid Women with No Real Legion Knowledge Tell Us Racism Is Bad".
DJ Nath: Haha.
Shotgun: That being said, my position is that he's Hot, because the mystery around his physical appearance is somewhat attractive. And maybe he sleeps without his mask, and every morning, you'd see his face.
Lip-Bomb: And, I mean, his physique is pretty sexy so that's something.
Art-Girl: He looks like he has a nice butt.
Science Girl: But what about the hair?
Lip-Bomb: He has eyebrows... so maybe he has sweet hair?
Science Girl: Mask eyebrows. Which is just weird.
Lip-Bomb: But you can see the real eyebrows in the first picture. To the left.
Siskoid: There exists ONE image of his brother without the mask, but it's so UNLIKE what we do see of his eyes that I don't consider it relevant. it's like extra mutated
Art-Girl: ..............I want to see.
Shotgun: Mmmmm, ok...
DJ Nath: This feels like a reality show reveal.
Siskoid: Well here goes...
Shotgun: Drum roll...
Shotgun: Oh damn.
Art-Girl: That's... intense.
DJ Nath: I mean, yeah, that doesn't even make sense.
Siskoid: I can only guess that Douglas supermutated later after he went mad.
Shotgun: Makes sense in a nonsensical way.
Art-Girl: That's like a vampire. He looks like a vampire from Buffy.
Lip-Bomb: He's the orange one, right?
Siskoid: LOL. Silly.
Lip-Bomb: I mean, there is no hint of it being this intense in any other drawings. He's very slobbery as well.
Art-Girl: The eyes aren't like the other eyes.
Shotgun: The first picture have sexy eyes. They look normal all the way through.
Art-Girl: Devil eyes.
Siskoid: Which is why I don't count it. So the mystery of Ferro's face persists.
Art-Girl: I want to KNOWWWW!!!
Shotgun: We never will.
Art-Girl: I don't like mysteries.
Siskoid: Sun Boy wrote that it was a "non-human face".
Art-Girl: Well, freaking Sun Boy.
Science Girl: Yeah, but it's Sun Boy.
Art-Girl: I wouldn't trust him with a ROCK. He would kill the rock somehow.
Shotgun: Sun Boy can eat a cartful of manure.
Lip-Bomb: Friggin' Sun Boy.
Art-Girl: Sun Boy is this the worst.
Lip-Bomb: Don't listen to him Ferro. You cool.

Tapping into a fad.

1 comment:

  1. When Ferro Lad was created by Jim Shooter he was supposed to be the first Black legionnaire .

    This was quickly shot down by the DC editor of the book and the future remained all white.

    After his death instead of his brother becoming a villain to fight the adult legion , Doug should have been added to the membership and continued his brothers legacy as Ferro Lad II.