Friday, February 17, 2017
Threeboot: Legion of Super-Heroes #49
Recap: A giant planet has entered our solar system, harboring technoconstruct 'emulations' which have been attacking United Planets for some time. And the UP has welcomed diplomats from this planet, allowing them to scan much of Earth and even drain the life essence from a UP official. Meanwhile, Princess Projectra has been supplementing her powers and preparing to wreak her revenge on the UP for allowing Orando to be destroyed by Praetor Lemnos. And there is the standard internal strife of this team during this run, sexual infidelity, and personality clashes.
My first set of reviews on this site was the 5 Years Later run by Giffen and the Bierbaums. I loved that book. But as I was reviewing the later issues, I was struck with ennui. There was a brilliance to the first three years of the 5YL run, especially the first year. As it rolled on, I was just more and more disappointed. The book was a fine super-hero book. But it wasn't the heady brew of those early issues. I was bored.
Now I am reviewing the Threeboot. And I am suffering in a different way in the later issues. These later issues don't bore me. They irritate me. Because this just doesn't read like a Legion book. Every issue seems to have problems. Whether the gratuitous sexual innuendo and cheesecake or Legionnaires acting horribly out of character or the meandering plots, nothing seems to be right about this book.
Don't get me wrong, the early Threeboot book had its issues as well. That wasn't 5YL either.
But this book ... I'm sort of done with it.
And thankfully I am almost done with it. One more issue.
We start out in a dojo where Princess Projectra is being trained in hand-to-hand combat from the surviving Orando citizens. They also have been streaming and consolidating all their planet's magical powers into her as well. Calling her the Imperiatrix, they want her to use her powers to destroy the UP and reign as their queen.
In this scene, we get a sample of those new powers. She not only projects the illusion of this Orandoan Fighting Coliseum, she also can enter people's minds. She can control this sparring partner's mind, triggering his reflexes and instincts.
Satisfied with her progression and victory, she heads to her chambers to be bathed by her handmaidens. Thankfully, page space isn't wasted on that scene. That would have fit in with this book.
Timber Wolf overhears the concerns and goes berserk. He is fiercely loyal to her, and will even attack friends to protect her. That seems off, even for Brin. He is trying to claw Tinya's face. I assume at some point we'll find out he is being controlled by Projectra.
The plan will be to take a crew to the invading planet and scan everything there with the copied device he made.
I don't exactly know why these beings feel compelled to destroy everything in their wake as opposed to just copying it.
The alien planet is surrounded by an antienergy shield that Legion Reserve Sizzle is able to bypass.
Ahhh ... anti-energy! Where is Wildfire!?!
On the planet, the group discovers that under an emulation glamour of natural resources is a world factory churning out construct warriors. The Legion squad blows up one quadrant and retreats.
In space, Brainy has Micro Lad data-rip the entire planet. Somehow the data-ripper is able to store that much information but Brainy's computer in the LSH HQ can't. I don't quite get the range or capabilities of the ripper but I'll roll with it.
And then, in the most expected roll in the hay in comic history, UP President Kin'thea makes her move. With the threat of universal annihilation moments away, the two lonely leaders decide to have a little tryst.
In this comic run, this might be the most chaste thing we have seen!
But then things go even more topsy turvy. Phantom Girl won't read Projectra the comic book any more. And Projectra decides it is time to lash out. And boy does she.
But then Shooter doubles down.
Suddenly Projectra has powerful mind powers. She can get into Imra's mind and rewrite it. She can control Saturn Girl. She rewrites Phantom Girl's memories. No one will be able to pin this attack on Jeckie.
It all seems too sudden and a bit inexplicable.
It also is pretty awul.
Remember when we saw Ultra Boy and Saturn Girl naked in the kitchen closet. Well it turns out that maybe they didn't do anything actually physical. Or maybe they did. Imra brought Jo into her mind. Things seem real there. Of course they were in the buff making me think something did happen.
And while she is pouring her heart and regrets out to Lightning Lad, she picks up his memories of shagging the President.
Yep, two major galactic threats looming and we still get pages devoted to the Legionnaires' sex lives.
In some ways, I am glad I didn't remember just how rough this end run was. I might not have volunteered to review the Threeboot!
One more issue.