A review of the Legion Constitution by Siskoid
Being the fourth in a series of essays on the crushing, debilitating bureaucracy that every Legionnaire must serve under. Know your Constitution. The Constitution is your friend.
Now that I'm in the Legion. What do we DO?
Yay! Reciting oaths! Here's an excerpt:
What would be really cool is reciting the whole Constitution. That'd learn 'em. But I guess it wouldn't be exciting enough for the cameras, which are, shall we say, VINTAGE.
Monitor Duty! A proud tradition going back to the JLA! Yes, YOU can watch the Legionnaires' adventures on TV, but only if you're a Legionnaire!
Oh loneliness, thy name is Monitor Duty.
Always respect the pecking order. You may be a superhero, but the police is still the police.
Unless they're really down on the Legion. Then smack the pigs silly.
You have to keep going to school! What's the point of being a superhero then?!
The Legion, a... money racket? Taking its cue from some of the more disreputable churches/cults, the LSH actually seizes any money you make and gives it, not to a charity, but to its treasury. Only a teenage superteam would work with an "allowance system". Ok, Legion membership is starting to look lame...
Finally, some perks! Free housing and food (for Matter-Eater Lad, these are the same) for you AND your family. The Legion can be your ticket to an easy life! Clothes too!
Though they sometimes skimp on the material.
More financial shenanigans. Mostly directed at Princess Projectra.
Having meetings! Gee, when do we fight the Legion of Super-Villains or torment Superboy? How about another perk just to keep me quiet?
Well I'm Canadian, so I already have universal health care. Ah, you say, but they do it differently in the future.
Naked Saturn Girl. Ok, I'll buy that.In recess for the week, but when we pick this up again, I've got to know: Can I be leader?
This article was first published in some form at Siskoid's Blog of Geekery.
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