Saturday, December 19, 2015

Tyroc: Hot or Not?

Our group of candid women with no real Legion knowledge give Tyroc a shout-out. Is he Hot, or is he Not?
Participants
Our honorary Legion members are...
Art-Girl - Warning. She's been known to play around with Paint.
DJ Nath - She knows her music. Does she know her sonic heroes? Co-star of Mind Linked, on You-Tube, with her sister Lip-Bomb.
Havana Nights - Named after Dirty Dancing's sequel.
Lip-Bomb - Always the singer when she plays Rock Band.
Science Girl - Her screams of dismay can be heard 'round the world sometimes.
Shotgun - Loud talker.
Moderator: Siskoid - Made a point of listening to ABBA while editing this post.

First impressions of Tyroc
Tyroc (AKA Troy Stewart) was born a mutant on the island city of Marzal, an island that periodically moves between dimensions, and for a time, was on 30th-century Earth, allowing to join the Legion. His voice has the power to do produce many effects, including force fields, explosions, teleportation, telekinesis, transmutation of the elements, weather manipulation, and inducting vertigo. Coming from a society founded by black refugees from many parallel Earths fleeing persecution and prejudice, he was initially touchy about race issues and quick to anger. When he realized his initial perception of the 30th century was incorrect, he became more friendly and easy-going, though he still had that edge.
Havana Nights: Ooooohhhh! Me likes a powerful voice.
Art-Girl: Those are some badass powers.
Shotgun: An island that moves... Damn! Not very practical, but his powers are interesting.
Art-Girl: The legs. OMG! Nooo!
Havana Nights/Science Girl/Shotgun: Buuuuuuulge!
DJ Nath: Jesus.
Art-Girl: Wow, that is package.
Shotgun: Oh God, the shoes.
Science Girl: Those freaking shoes.
DJ Nath: Yeah, the shoes are amazing.
Art-Girl: Amazing? I think they're horrible.
Havana Nights: That's a badass necklace/belt. Beltlace?
Art-Girl: That collar.
Lip-Bomb: I want to put little wings on the shoes.
DJ Nath: They look like he could fly because of them.
Shotgun: I don't like the chains... There's something upsetting about a black man in chains.
Art-Girl: The chains on the chest is like a weird Beyonce/Brittany Spears outfit gone horribly horribly wrong.
Science Girl: White after Labour Day? Such a fashion faux pas.
Art-Girl: It's always after Labour Day!!! That rule is silly. Oh God, that right hand.
DJ Nath: I feel like he's not wearing a lot of clothes, but compensating with a giant collar.
Shotgun: Like, why the shoes, why the collar, why not cover the rest of his body?
Havana Nights: Why is he so muscular when the only muscles that matter for him are his vocal chords? Is he also a body builder on the side?
DJ Nath: Good point, didn't really need to be bulky.
Shotgun: His power doesn't require him to be so naked, at all. Or muscled.
DJ Nath: It's just so revealing, why does it have to be so revealing?
Havana Nights: Why, Siskoid?!?
Siskoid: '70s, it's the era in which Cosmic Boy wore a corset. All the Legionnaires were kind of naked.
Art-Girl: Oh yes Rocky Horror Picture Show Cosmic Boy.
Shotgun: Hopefully he'll have worn better costumes later.
Science Girl: Hopefully there's less bulge. And by less, I mean more.
Lip-Bomb: His vocal chords are totally buff though.
Art-Girl: He can bench press with his vocal chords!!!
DJ Nath: Vocal chords for DAAAAYYYYYZZZZ.
Havana Nights: So in his spare time he goes to Studio 54.
Science Girl: The hair is fine.
Havana Nights: The eyebrows in the surprint are fierce,
Lip-Bomb: He has a look on is face like, "I'm the coolest dude ever".
Art-Girl: He looks like a douche.
Havana Nights: He does have a super smug look. Like, my floating island time traveling planet is better than your floating island time traveling planet.
Art-Girl: He looks full of himself.
DJ Nath: Yeah, he looks so confident.
Siskoid: For your information, among the screams in Tyroc's arsenal:
   EEYYAAAHH! - pyrokinesis
   AHHRRRRRR! - force field
   OYYUUUUUU! - teleportation
   ARRRRHHHH! - explosions
   ZZZRRRUUGGHH! - telekinesis
   UIUUIEEEE! - transmutation
   ARRREEEEG! - weather manipulation
   IRRRRWWWW! - plant manipulation
   CCCIIIRRR! - vertigo
   RRRYYYY! - wind manipulation
Lip-Bomb: Wait, different screams do different things? It's like interpreting a cat.
DJ Nath: Zrugh is my favorite.
Shotgun: YYUUUUSSSSS!!!!
Siskoid: I don't know what YYUUUUSSSSS!!!! would do.
Shotgun: That was my scream to summon him.
Art-Girl: The end of the world, Siskoid. YYUUUUSSSSS!!!!
Shotgun: ARRREEEEG! would be useful in our climate.
Havana Nights: It's dangerous for him to stub his toe. "OOOOOOWWWW" - Nuclear explosion.
Lip-Bomb: So does the same "weather control" scream give you different weather things? Or is there a different one for snow and rain and earthquakes?
Siskoid: He wasn't in the Legion long enough for me to know the answer.
Shotgun: This power is SO awesome. Like, I'm jealous.
DJ Nath: Can we just go scream at things together? That sounds like a good first date.
Lip-Bomb: I hope he does cool poses when he screams. It would be fabulous.
Havana Nights: I wonder if he has to do voice exercises like actors or singers.
Shotgun: This would be the best power for me. My sonic explosions would have a reason for being.
Science Girl: Or you would kill everyone.
Art-Girl: You two would have such screaming matches.
Havana Nights: You'd blow up the Earth by mistake two times out of three.
DJ Nath: We would be doomed.
Shotgun: Nice to know that everyone has so much faith in me.

Tyroc as President of Earth
After a year with the Legion, he and his island home vanished, and he wasn't seen for many years. He returned while Earth was under evil alien occupation, helped free the planet, and became its Vice-President and then President, truly the "voice of experience".
Havana Nights: The jaw!
Art-Girl: Ahhh, more normal.
Science Girl: Much better outfit.
DJ Nath: Way better.
Shotgun: He looks older and sadder.
Art-Girl: The package is gone. I'm sad too.
DJ Nath: I like the jacket, feels like he would win a dance competition.
Lip-Bomb: I'm digging the hair.
Science Girl: Better hair.
Havana Nights: Very Michael Jackson-ish jacket.
Art-Girl: He's pulling a face like those wussies that are always giving blood around me when I go to the blood clinic.
Shotgun: Reminds me of a mix between Indiana Jones and Pratt's character in Jurassic World.
Havana Nights: Lol what.
Science Girl: He's basically a black Chris Pratt.
Shotgun: Yep, and I'm fine with that.
Art-Girl: Where are the dinosaurs?
Science Girl: Needs more dinosaur.
Art-Girl: Always.
DJ Nath: I feel like light yellow gloves would get dirty really quickly.
Lip-Bomb: At least they're full gloves.
Havana Nights: Amen on the full gloves.
DJ Nath: Fingerless gloves would just be silly.
Lip-Bomb: I can't stop imagining him being elected president and then the first picture goes viral.
Siskoid: Trump's descendant wants him to release his disco pictures to the public. "Is he even from Earth?"
DJ Nath: I like this outfit, he looks like a real person.
Shotgun: The outfit is great. Not really president-appropriate, but maybe politics have changed in the future.
Art-Girl: A classic white tee with a nice leather jacket, mhmmmm. Can't go wrong in my book.
Lip-Bomb: I mean, jokes about him being the "Voice of a Nation" will be the headlines of papers forever.
Havana Nights: Voice of reason!
Shotgun: His message resonates with the public.
Havana Nights: The journalists would be happy. Headlines would just write themselves.
Art-Girl: It would be so easy.
Havana Nights: "President VOICES concern."
Lip-Bomb: Don't need to threaten other countries with nuclear war... the president might just yell at you.
Siskoid: You know, the reason he wasn't seen for many years (like more than decade) is apparently because all the writers that came after thought his whole story and portrayal was racist
Art-Girl: Ouch.
Science Girl: Oh past racism.
DJ Nath: Racism strikes again.
Science Girl: You always come back.
Art-Girl: Sadly!
Siskoid: Originally, it wasn't that his island was populated by people from different dimensions, but that it actually was all the black people on Earth who'd moved there, explaining why there weren't any black people in the 50s and 60s Legion stories.
Havana Nights: Oh wow.
Shotgun: What? Get real! Hahaha. Ugh.
DJ Nath: Was it segregation or voluntary?
Siskoid: Voluntary segregation.
DJ Nath: Aww that's a shame.
Lip-Bomb: Well voluntary... with that atmosphere, you don't feel welcome.
Siskoid: So his year in the Legion was really about him being the cliché "angry black man"; and that Tyroc was basically "Tyrone", etc. All clichés.
Shotgun: So they gave him a voice that matched his frustration.
Havana Nights: What's the scream for ending racism?
Siskoid: So eventually a writer said, you know what? Tyroc is still the first black legionnaire, and he's still a worthy character, and we can do something with him.
Art-Girl: Good!
Lip-Bomb: Progress!
Art-Girl: Sticking up for him yay!
Science Girl: You go, past not-racist.

On Tyroc's other looks
In recent years, Tyroc has become a more prominent member of the Legion, sporting different looks:
Art-Girl: Ohhhh. Gooddddd.
Shotgun: Yesss!
Havana Nights: Woo, different looks!
Shotgun: Oh me-likey.
Lip-Bomb: Hey, they brought back the button things.
Science Girl: Not the bulge though.
Havana Nights: B-b-b-bulge!
Art-Girl: Sad! No package!
Science Girl: #MoreBuldge2016
DJ Nath: I like this one, a tribute to his past look, but less ridiculous.
Shotgun: Yeah, a wink to the past, but way less revealing and better proportioned.
Art-Girl: Yes, his muscles don't scare me.
Lip-Bomb: I like the suit design, interesting and not blindingly terrible.
DJ Nath: Yeah, like, he's clearly muscled, but it's not  overwhelming.
Havana Nights: I like the hair. Very cool.
Shotgun: Like, it's futuristic, but not ridiculous. It's cool. Good color choice. The hair is awesome.
DJ Nath: Besides, who doesn't want fun buttons?
Havana Nights: Hahaha, I'd be pressing them all the time.
Art-Girl: What are those goggles?!
Science Girl: Good jawline, not as square and aggressive.
Havana Nights: It reminds me of a boy band though.
Lip-Bomb: Wait, what happens if he sings?
Shotgun: Damn, good question.
Art-Girl: Ovaries explodes.
Lip-Bomb: Hahaha.
Havana Nights: Hahaha.
DJ Nath: Karaoke would either be a great first date or the worst.
Art-Girl: I say great.
Shotgun: The constant feedback in the microphone. (Doesn't need a microphone though.)
Science Girl: That feedback and also nuclear explosions. Those sure ruin a first date.
Havana Nights: Maybe when he sings, flowers appear. Cuz why not.
Art-Girl: And rainbows.
DJ Nath: Aww that would be awesome.
Art-Girl: Sparkles appear out of nowhere!
Art-Girl: Automatic wind machine in his hair.
Shotgun: He must be a good singer, because his instrument is super-developed.
Lip-Bomb: Maybe he can become a pop singer and brainwash everyone!
Shotgun: That's how he became president.
Havana Nights: Another look! Another look!!!
Siskoid: Ok. There was also this look:
Science Girl: No hair.
Havana Nights: DISLIKE.
Science Girl: Nope.
Shotgun: Oh hell no. I WANT HAIR.
Havana Nights: He's got the crazy eye.
Art-Girl: Hell noooooooooo!
Lip-Bomb: Boo to the no hair.
DJ Nath: I don't like this one as much, but the red is nice.
Shotgun: The vein in his forehead is menacing.
Art-Girl: No hair, crazy eyes, looks like he's going to punch me.
Lip-Bomb: He seems less kind than in the last picture.
Shotgun: To be fair, it's a shot of him fighting.
Art-Girl: I am not into it.
DJ Nath: We went from great hair to no hair, this upsets me. But the buttons look like there's water inside them, that's fun.
Havana Nights: Still got buttons to push, at least there's that.
Lip-Bomb: Don't push his buttons. He gets upset easily.
Art-Girl: I want to press all of them.
Havana Nights: Don't make him raise his voice!
Shotgun: He must be okay when he's not in a fight, obviously. Except bald... sigh.
Art-Girl: Oh my God, if he were a dad and his kids did something wrong, that would be terrifying. "Who broke grandma's vase?!!?!?!?!" Terror!!!
Lip-Bomb: Yeah... what happens if you have an argument?
Shotgun: OMG IMAGINE WHEN HE WAS A BABY! Nuclear explosion out of nowhere. No one knows how or why.
Siskoid: He's not Black Bolt or anything, he has some control. His powers probably only developed in adolescence.
Shotgun: Ah ok.
Lip-Bomb: "You don't understand me mom!" *everyone has vertigo suddenly*
DJ Nath: Some people get pimples, others get booming voices that cause explosions, aww adolescence.
Shotgun: Hahahaha.
Siskoid: Now I want to read a Teen Tyroc comic.
Art-Girl: Me too!
Science Girl: Lets' make it happen.
Shotgun: WE'RE ON IT!
Art-Girl: Yay!
Siskoid: Teenage boys' voices always crack. His just cracks stone.
Lip-Bomb: "You're going to school. You can't make me!" *force field*
Science Girl: Instant classic.
Shotgun: It writes itself.
Art-Girl: Can't go on a camping trip, he makes it rain with his voice.
Shotgun: He regulates the weather. So best buddy to go camping or to the beach and everything ever.
Lip-Bomb: Aww you would always have great weather for dates.
Art-Girl: Very well! OMG, just randomly starts to rain, let's passionately make out in the rain, my love!!! Yes, my love, we shall!
Havana Nights: Alright, camping's been mentioned, let's wrap this thing up.

The verdict
DJ Nath: I think mostly hot, some of his looks are really ridiculous, but more hot than not. Also a leader and that's hot to me.
Science Girl: Verdict - Bulge. Hot.
Shotgun: Hot! He hasn't had it easy because of his perception of reality (damn you, past racism), but he's overcome it and became a leader. And it'll be a nice change not to be the loudest in the group. But the hotness is obviously just in the two middle looks.
Havana Nights: I'm a sucker for a nice deep resounding voice... So he'd probably get me there. I feel the beginning of a crush, but nothing too serious yet. So I'll say hot, cause I like boy bands.
Shotgun: Give me more black Pratt / boy band looks any day.
Art-Girl: I find he has a interesting personality. His power sounds amazing and I am digging the leadership! Hopefully he wouldn't be too buff, and the bulge would be under control! The first and last looks, I'll pass. The two middle ones, I'll take... and go make out passionately in the rain... or snow, I guess, since we're in Canada!
Lip-Bomb: I say hot! His power is unique, awesome and useful! He seems like a cool guy; friendly, a leader, but still a little edgy. Also deep voices are sexy.
Art-Girl: But more of a crush, like we still need to get to know each other. In the rain. While making out. Passionately.
Lip-Bomb: Haha.
Shotgun: Been a while since we've had someone who was clearly hot.

Next: Rock steady.

1 comment:

  1. I hated this character from his first appearance and was glad he was rarely used . He should have also been killed in the line of duty !

    He was a complete waste of an addition to the team only joining to give the team a Black member .

    They might as well have just gave him a Gilligan hat and had his power activated by screaming " DYNOMITE " or "WHATSYOUTALKINGABOUTWILLIS" as he was just as ridiculous !

    I'm surprised that he wasn't modeled after "Rollo" from Sanford and Son !

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