Saturday, January 16, 2016

Invisible Kid II: Hot or Not?

What happens when we let a group of candid women with no real Legion knowledge deliver their first impressions of the second Invisible Kid? Does he measure up?
Our honorary Legion members are...
Art-Girl - Brought to you by the number 2.
DJ Nath - One of two sisters. Co-star of Mind Linked, on You-Tube, with her sister Lip-Bomb.
Havana Nights - On her second "marriage".
Lip-Bomb - Coming down with a cold. Always.
Science Girl - Has older brothers, still better at everything than they are.
Shotgun - Double-barreled.
Moderator: Siskoid - The first and only.

First impressions of Invisible Kid II
Jacques Foccart of Earth has the distinction of being French, and was forced to use Invisible Kid's invisibility serum to save his kid sister from one of Brainiac 5's inventions gone mad. It gave him the same powers and he became the SECOND Invisible Kid, but unlike his predecessor, he had also developed the ability to teleport and shift into other dimensions. As one of the newer Legionnaires, Jacques is initially a little nervous about doing well and about doing the memory of the original Invisible Kid proud. Generally friendly and courageous, he soon proved he had the stuff.
Havana Nights: JACQUES!
Art-Girl: French, I like it!
Havana Nights: But why does he have a skunk on his head?
Shotgun: Legs for daaaayyyys. Also French... J'aime!
Science Girl: No baguette, disappointing.
Art-Girl: No one can replace my first love, the FIRST Invisible Kid!
Science Girl: Also no beret. And that yellow suit. And that hair.
Art-Girl: The pleats on his outfit make me look somewhere... very specific.
Science Girl: This is all sorts of no.
DJ Nath: Insert baguette/penis joke here.
Art-Girl: Is that your baguette, or are you just glad to see me?
Science Girl: The suit's stretching effect next to the bulge... #2016yearofthebulge
DJ Nath: The arrow on his chest is weird, not sure if it's the placement or the way it's pointing, but I don't like it.
Art-Girl: It's awkward, that arrow. It has no purpose in life.
Lip-Bomb: This suit is a bit Bruce Lee.
Shotgun: There's something really weird about the way he has gloves but no boots.
Art-Girl: Yes, I hate the suit that becomes the boots.
DJ Nath:
The gloves feel too mad scientist-y for the rest of his costume.
Lip-Bomb: "The distinction of being French."
Siskoid: Well you know how it is, everyone is otherwise cookie-cutter "American".
DJ Nath: Is he wearing a helmet? His head is very skunk-like, Pepe Le Pew, anyone?
Art-Girl: I like the white in his hair, very Rogue from X-Men.
Siskoid: He started with black hair, but got a good (bad?) scare which whited out a stripe.
Lip-Bomb: It looks spray-painted on.
DJ Nath: Aw well, I like that white now, gives him character.
Lip-Bomb: At least it's a good story to tell when people ask about his hair.
Havana Nights: Not sure he wants to tell the story if it was so scary it whitened his hair... not the best small talk topic.
Art-Girl: I can just imagine the story. So me and my buddies, we were piss drunk...
Science Girl: He has really good cheekbones.
Shotgun: So much pecs. Too much. It's horrible.
Art-Girl: It's hideous. They're almost boobs. Muscle boobs.
Havana Nights: Moobs!!!
Art-Girl: I bet he can make those pecs dance!
Havana Nights: He looks very French, actually. That pout. So distinguished. So French.
Shotgun: The jacket in the surprint looks more casual; he looks better in it.
Havana Nights: I like the jacket.
Shotgun: I'm not a fan of the fact that he replaced someone, by which I mean that's it's a bit lame that he has the same power.
Science Girl: Yes, but what about camping?
DJ Nath: Invisibility while camping is not cool.
Shotgun: He would cheat at hide and seek.
Science Girl: I'm sure this guy would hate camping. He'd whine all the time about bugs and stuff.
Havana Nights: Jacques does not camp. Jacques stays in boutique hotels.
Art-Girl: Drinking wine and eating cheese, going onononoonnnnn.
Havana Nights: A beautifully aged Camembert.
Havana Nights: HON HON.
Lip-Bomb: "He proves he has the stuff" and by stuff I mean only the best wine selection.
Shotgun: OOOOHH! (But when I read that, I thought his stuff was really his "baguette".)
Lip-Bomb: What fuels his powers? Caviar?
Shotgun: I like the teleportation thing. Very practical.
Lip-Bomb: Maybe he can shift into an other dimension. A camping dimension.
DJ Nath: I mean teleporting anywhere is my dream, I want that power.
Art-Girl: I want that power too,  hate living ouside the city. It sucks... always, but especially in winter.
DJ Nath: We could teleport to Hawaii for a date, that's pretty cool.
Shotgun: Teleportation is the best kind of power. The power to be anywhere at any given moment.
Science Girl: Like, I could travel for free.
Havana Nights: In the bottom right picture, he looks like a speed skater.
Lip-Bomb: He looks like a runway model. And I'm ok with that.
Art-Girl: Can he teleport anywhere, or is it like in D&D where you need to have gone there before, or you might teleport yourself into a wall?
Siskoid: He originally had little control over it, but no, doesn't have to have been... like, he hadn't been to other dimensions, for example.
Havana Nights: Did the other Legionnaires tease him because he was French? From what we've seen, I feel like they would.
Siskoid: They didn't.

On his different looks
Remember when we talked about Tyroc becoming Vice-President or Earth, and then President? Well, he was VP under Jacques. Invisible Kid had been the Resistance Leader when Earth had been occupied by alien forces, but didn't feel he'd make a good "peace time" president - he was elected without agreeing to run! - so he left the post to Tyroc.
Havana Nights: Ooooohhh. He's humble too.
Art-Girl: Awwwwwwwwwwww. He's kind and understanding.
Science Girl: OMG A PONYTAIL. NO.
DJ Nath: Jesus, elected without his consent, that's a weird problem to have.
Shotgun: There's a boob on his suit. A BOOB!!!
Art-Girl: I see the boob. Brilliant.
Shotgun: The suit is pretty epic though.
Art-Girl: It feels really regal. Like, if someone wore that at the United Nations, it would be badass.
Science Girl: Heuheuheu boobies.
Shotgun: Get rid of the ponytail and the style is freaking nice.
DJ Nath: The stripe in his hair is weird with the ponytail.
Lip-Bomb: That is a very dramatic frame.
Shotgun: Good job Future Earth for having two black presidents back to back.
DJ Nath: I like the colors of this suit, very much my palette. We might match too much?
Science Girl: I can't get over that ponytail, it ruined it for me.
Art-Girl: Just hide it with your finger. BADASS!
Siskoid: Here's his current look:
Science Girl: Ooohh. Fancy.
Havana Nights: The hair is less helmety.
Art-Girl: The arms are super muscly, but I don't mind. One. Bit.
DJ Nath: This is the best outfit.
Science Girl: It's so wavy.
Art-Girl: It's the new sea salt spray he's been using .
Shotgun: Wolverine much?
Havana Nights: I like the sleeveless thing going on.
Art-Girl: Sleeveless all the way! APPROVED!
DJ Nath: I would wear this suit.
Science Girl: Can we take a moment to appreciate the gratuitous butt next to his soulder?
Art-Girl: HAHAHA IT'S BEING STABBED. That poor butt!
Shotgun: Doesn't he have pupils?
DJ Nath: He has pupils, it's just the angle at which he's looking.
Shotgun: Ahhh he's looking at the butt.
Art-Girl: He's totally checking the butt.
Havana Nights: I like the front zipper... It seems practical.
DJ Nath: He looks mad pissed here.
Havana Nights: He looks fierce! JACQUES IS NOT HAPPY!
Lip-Bomb: This suits makes him look way cooler.
Shotgun: Yeah, this suit is WAY better.
Siskoid: And here's what he looked like in animation, with a costume more like the original Invisible Kid's:
Havana Nights: NOOOOOOO!
General: Hahahahahahaha!
Science Girl: Ew.
Art-Girl: He looks pathetic...
Havana Nights: Why so slinky?
Shotgun: What is going on? Why?!
Art-Girl: This is the face of disgust. The face of "I don't understand what's going on."
DJ Nath: I just don't like his face, not a fun face.
Shotgun: Poor kid.
Lip-Bomb: Wow, ew.
DJ Nath: Well, that's disappointing. He's just arms and legs.
Shotgun: And not a LOT of arms and legs either. A stick figure.
Science Girl: And underwhelming bulge.
Lip-Bomb: He looks like he would have a squeaky voice.
Havana Nights: I don't like the fact that his stripe is now a zed.
Lip-Bomb: Is his hair a thunderbolt now?
DJ Nath: I mean, the pockets are practical.
Shotgun: I'm sorry... I just can't.
Science Girl: That purple faded "i".
Lip-Bomb: They gave him the "i" on the shirt ...why?
Science Girl: "I", more like "I look ugly".
Art-Girl: No one can replace Invisible Kid I; he stole my heart, no one can replace him. Be a bit more original!
Lip-Bomb: Yes exactly, he has the same powers, but jeez don't give him the same suit.
Havana Nights: Well technically, he has a few more powers so the suit should have a bit more features.
Lip-Bomb: I don't see a "T" for teleportation.
Science Girl: He would put it next to the "i" on his suit, but then everyone would call him for tech support. Jacques the IT guy.
DJ Nath: Hahhaha. He looks like he works for tech supports. And hates it.
Havana Nights: Hey Siskoid, doez he haves a grrrate accente?
Siskoid: He speaks Frenglish basically, with "mon ami" and "Mais non!" etc.
Havana Nights: EXCELLENT!
Shotgun: Superb!
Science Girl: I bet he pronounces wifi like weefee.
Lip-Bomb: You guys may have sold me on this guy now.
DJ Nath: I'm kind of into "mon ami", feels like Lumière from Beauty and the Beast.
Lip-Bomb: Or Poirot.
Shotgun: Aaaahhh Lumière!!! What a charmer!
Lip-Bomb: Maybe it isn't and "i", maybe it's a candle with a flame.

On his relationship to Infectious Lass

Invisible Kid did not entertain a romance while he was a Legionnaire, but as a Resistance Leader, he was married to his main adviser, Drura Sehpt, AKA Infectious Lass of the planet Somahtur.
DJ Nath: Infectious Lass is a terrible name.
Art-Girl: Sounds disgusting, but FABULOUS. AND CLEAVAGE!
Science Girl: Lilac hair is very trendy.
DJ Nath: Hair goals!
Havana Nights: She looks cool. But the name.
Science Girl: That outfit is so sassy.
Lip-Bomb: Her cape! It's amazing.
Art-Girl: The white skin. The eye make-up.
DJ Nath: I feel like the shoulders pads are dangerous.
Art-Girl: Weapon at close range!
Lip-Bomb: Maybe her name isn't terrible and it's her laugh that's infectious.
Havana Nights: What's with the gooey stuff off her arms?
Shotgun: Phlegm. That looks awful.
Siskoid: Long ago she had been rejected by the Legion for not having much control over her power to infect anyone with any disease (a trait shared by everyone on her disease-ridden planet). So she became a member of the Legion of Substitute-Heroes, during which time she never really got better at it. Drura was the kind of girl who apologizes constantly for her mistakes, her insecurity a trait she shared with Invisible Kid, but in a crippling kind of way.
Siskoid: THIS is why the phlegm.
Havana Nights: The Legion of Substitute Heroes sounds depressing.
Science Girl: Or possibly the best name for a substitute teachers union.
Art-Girl: Oh God.
DJ Nath: Man, I feel like you do not want to hang out during flu season.
Havana Nights: Or any season.
Art-Girl: I feel bad that she never learned to control it.
Shotgun: If you get rid of the gooey stuff, her outfit is pretty cool.
Lip-Bomb: The woman with the phlegm cape enters a room and says "you have nothing to worry about".
Havana Nights: Is she sick? Or she just makes others sick?
Shotgun: She's immune and is a carrier.
Science Girl: Can confirm that's how immunology and microbiology works.
Art-Girl: Are the diseases in the goo under her arm?
Siskoid: That's just a costume.
Lip-Bomb: Is it a mask or her skin? Because that is awesome.
Siskoid: I think so. But she grew up too, joined the Resistance, fell in love with Jacques, and married him. She blossomed into a strong woman with a sharp sense of humor, not so much the woman behind the throne as an equal partner.
Havana Nights: Aww I like that.
Art-Girl: She is sassy!
Havana Nights: He's not listening to her!
Art-Girl: How rude!
DJ Nath: She has spunk.
Lip-Bomb: Stud muffin. Hahaha.
Siskoid: Well, I like that she doesn't make a federal case out of it.
Art-Girl: I would want to snap my fingers a lot around her because of the things she says. Snap!
Lip-Bomb: I only just realized she has antennae. Huh. Is her sass contagious? I like it.
Siskoid: At this point they were written by a married couple; I like to think this was their relationship.
Havana Nights: Interesting
DJ Nath: Haha that's fun.
Art-Girl: I enjoy this.
DJ Nath: Art imitates life and all that.

The verdict
Shotgun: The power is freaking hot! I would love to be able to teleport! But the guy... A solid meh! Not for me. His looks don't grab me at all! So I guess it's a not. His wife is cool though! Especially once she becomes more confident.
DJ Nath: On paper, he's hot, but I feel meh too. I don't dislike him, I just don't have many strong feelings about him.
Havana Nights: It's not an immediate attraction, although I do like the exotic factor in the French element. His personality is not that interesting to me, sounds like he's a good guy, but I'm not drawn to him more than any other.
Science Girl: Verdict - Not. That ponytail is a deal breaker. Also, he's French.
Lip-Bomb: I'm going to say hot because he seems driven and friendly and has some sweet hair. But we don't know that much about him and he's totally ignoring his wife over there. So maybe he's a gamble?
Art-Girl: He's okay! i feel nothing, neither hot nor cold. I wouldn't even be too interested in a date, friendship or anything. He would be that person I talk to  every once in a while to know where the Doritos are, and if he saw somebody or where I put my book. Nothing more. I would have no interest past that. Do I dislike him? No. Do I like him? No... it's just... mehhhhh. I guess he just sounds like one of my co-workers!

Next: How much time do you have to put in with the Subs before you graduate to the big leagues?
Art-Girl: My guess? A lot.
DJ Nath: 5 dollars. Sweet Subway reference.
Science Girl: Is it Baseball Boy?


  1. I thought he was from the Ivory Coast in Africa?
    Regarding his last look: Verdict: HOT. (then again, pretty much everything by Lightle is HOT).

    I like that you include the significant others in this feature.

  2. Yes, you're right, and I sound like a damn colonialist. I first said French in the sense of French speaker, and then then went all gay paree on him and I thought it was funny, and so forgot to disabuse their notion!

  3. Are you going to do Hot or Not on the female legionnaires with the non-fan guys (or gals) on the panel.

  4. No. All the girls have already been discussed with their significant others anyway (check it out, it's true!), and while girls talking about guys' "bulges" etc, is funny, guys doing similar things will come off as creepy and sexist, trust me.

  5. Can we the gay guys talk about the hotness of the girls? I bet that's not creepy! :-P

  6. Lyle Norg was a great character in the original series and I couldn't stand this third rate replacement . The constant French "Sacre Bleu " and "Mon Ami" got old fast as did the skunk hair style . Did I mention he was French yet ?

    He should have been K.I.A.!