Saturday, January 30, 2016

Polar Boy: Hot or Not?

Make your temperature-related jokes, but our group of candid women with no real Legion knowledge still need to evaluate if Polar Boy is Hot or Not.
Our honorary Legion members are...
Art-Girl - Snowbound in Memramcook (yes, that's the name of a real place).
DJ Nath - Cuddling with a border collie.
Havana Nights - Trying to reconcile her Legion code name with what's about to happen here.
Lip-Bomb - More blankets! Co-star of Mind Linked, on You-Tube, with her sister DJ Nath.
Science Girl - All about the layers, even in summer.
Shotgun - Has her storm chips in case a blizzard hits. Oh look...
Moderator: Siskoid - Waited for a blizzard to moderate this chat.
First impressions of Polar Boy
Polar Boy (Brek Bannin of Tharr) has, like everyone on his super-hot planet, the power to create cold and ice. He just wasn't too good at using it and was rejected by the Legion. But he so wanted to be a Legionnaire, he started - and led for many years - the Legion of Substitute Heroes, who could be called in when the Legion was away or in some villain's clutches. But he eventually tired of being a second stringer, and demanded the Legion wave their rule about new recruits being under 18, and admit him as a member. They did, and he was soon elected Legion leader, as he had a lot of experience already. But he was leader at perhaps the worst time in Legion history, and had to make many many compromises to keep the team going, eventually failing (though that timeline no longer exists). Polar Boy is known for his perseverance, obviously, and kind of the guy who is always being disappointed by the world around him (especially less than competent colleagues). He is quiet and soft-spoken, and not given to overconfidence. In fact, he can be somewhat neurotic and questions his decisions a lot, though as he's gotten older, he's learned to enjoy life.
Shotgun: Polar Boy! I like the name already.
DJ Nath: Seems appropriate considering the weather.
Science Girl: Those cheekbones are sharp.
Havana Nights: He has helmet hair.
Art-Girl: He would always have helmet hair. That's a bit of a negative thing for me.
Science Girl: I don't think I can live with that kind of competition.
DJ Nath: I love the ice on his outfit, that's awesome. I feel like he would be great at keeping your drinks cold.
Lip-Bomb: Me too! The ice on his boots transforms regular boots to awesome ones!
Havana Nights: He seems so serious in the picture.
Shotgun: Yes, too serious.
Art-Girl: Ice cream would never melt on summer dates.
Science Girl: I'm not digging the thin 90s eyebrow situation.
DJ Nath: His outfit somehow looks cozy.
Lip-Bomb: I hope his suit is really fleecy and comfy.
Havana Nights: Like a ski lodge suit.
Art-Girl: I am kinda not digging this at all!
Science Girl: He's quiet and soft spoken? I feel like we're polar opposites. ZING!!! *self high five*
Art-Girl: The belt is like a wrestling belt. And the collar-shoulder thing. What is going on there? A disaster!
Lip-Bomb: He has a sweet turtleneck under it too.
DJ Nath: I feel like he would be way better than me at winter sports.
Art-Girl: His right arm, the muscle, it's too long, there's something I don't like.
Havana Nights: This first impression leaves me cold.
DJ Nath: I like the gray suit, kind of more understated than the ridiculous outfits we get.
Art-Girl: What's with the pouting lips in the surprint.
Shotgun: What color is his hair?
Art-Girl: White?
Siskoid: Blond.
Science Girl: Nice.
Shotgun: I don't like that they hide it in the main picture. And why are there so many blonds?
Art-Girl: Would you rather they be redheads?
Shotgun: Nah, blond is fine, I guess. I'm sure there aren't that many... I just don't like them as much.
Lip-Bomb: I like that they put the shield as the "o" in his name. #SoGraphicDesign
DJ Nath: Polar Boy sounds too much like polar bear.
Art-Girl: Polar Bear Boy!!! His best friend is an actual polar bear.
Lip-Bomb: He should have loads of polar bear friends.
Art-Girl: And pingings??? Pingling? Penguins?
Shotgun: YES!! All of the pengwings friends!
Havana Nights: I like that he's a go-getter. That he doesn't give up.
Shotgun: That shade of lavender purple is pretty cool. A guy must be confident to pull that off. Also a fan of the leader thing and his perseverance. You go, Polar Boy.
Lip-Bomb: There's something about "learning to enjoy life" that annoys me though...
DJ Nath: He looks like he has a quiet dignity, I can respect that.
Havana Nights: The League of Substitute Super-Heroes can't look good on a resume.
Art-Girl: Yeah, it must be hard to get rejected.
Lip-Bomb: What do they do when they aren't needed? Like knit or something?
Havana Nights: Train maybe?
Art-Girl: Work out? They help at the old folks home.
DJ Nath: I hope they have a cool hang out spot, with a pinball machine.
Art-Girl: Play bingo every Sunday!
Havana Nights: Quietly mull over the fact that they were rejected?
Lip-Bomb: Maybe they do a lot of cooking. Maybe Polar boy is really good at making chili.
Science Girl: LOL. Boo. *I* wanted to make that pun.
Lip-Bomb: Hihihi too slow!
Science Girl: Bah, I didn't cuz it sucks.
Art-Girl: And I like that he learned to enjoy life, that he let go of a few things and didn't take certain things as seriously to enjoy the things he liked. I should do that too.

On his other looks
His original costume from his first try-out. He wore the furry hat for many years.
Shotgun: FURRY HAT?
Art-Girl: Furry. Hat. omg
DJ Nath: Are those ice rings?
Art-Girl: That's adorABLE!
Havana Nights: He looks so innocent.
Lip-Bomb: There is a reason he didn't get in...
Siskoid: Fashion?
Shotgun: Oh God no. I prefer the other costume.
Science Girl: He looks 12 years old in this one, poor thing.
DJ Nath: He does look a little dweeby in this one, like, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!
Shotgun: There is absolutely nothing to this suit. It's just dull.
Science Girl: But the hat, Shotgun...
Havana Nights: He's just dull.
Art-Girl: It's quite dull.... I like the hat.
DJ Nath: This suit looks like he put it together with his snowsuit and a speedo he had at home.
Lip-Bomb: Maybe he made his new outfit during the down time in the rejects league.
Science Girl: Wait, is the hat faux fur at least?
Shotgun: I thought it would at least be a real furry hat, with ear flaps and everything. Disappointed.
Siskoid: Sorry.
Lip-Bomb: Yeah, I'm a bit underwhelmed by the furriness.
Havana Nights: I'm underwhelmed by everything.
Siskoid: Here's an atrocity he wore for a brief time. Though originally blond, this is where his hair started to frost up.
Science Girl: NOOOO. no. no. no.
Art-Girl: Crap.
Lip-Bomb: STOP.
Science Girl: So much no.
Art-Girl: Not what I had in mind.
DJ Nath: Is he from Whoville?
Havana Nights: FROSTED TIPS!
Shotgun: OMG YES!
Art-Girl: The hair from the 90's.
Shotgun: He looks ancient.
Science Girl: Also, crotch spikes.
Art-Girl: Crotchsicles.
Science Girl: Oh, bravo.
Siskoid: I believe that's the back of the capelet.
Shotgun: The faux fur on the sleeves.
DJ Nath: More furriness here, that's nice.
Shotgun: The collar.
Lip-Bomb: He both looks like a 12-year-old playing dress-up, AND 95 years old.
Havana Nights: I kind of like the hand cuffs.
Art-Girl: It looks like he has white make-up on his eyes. Didn't even do contouring.
Shotgun: It's terrible in all the best possible ways.
Lip-Bomb: Oh Jesus, I hadn't even realized the eye shadow. That is a terrible eye shadow look.
Art-Girl: Yes! He looks so old I find.
Lip-Bomb: I'm liking the fur more. It looks polar.
Shotgun: Also, where did the bulge go?
Science Girl: It transformed into ice.
Art-Girl: Blueballs???
Science Girl: #2016YearOfTheCrotchsicle. And bravo again, Art-Girl.
Siskoid: And here's a more current look. Note the ice arm he generates and controls to replace one he lost in battle. Also note his friendship with Sun Boy, which started as a friendly rivalry, but grew into something, uhm, warmer. A nice touch considering Sun Boy is the one who personally rejected him all those years ago.
Science Girl: Urgh.
Shotgun: SUN BOY!! *shakes fist in the air* Of COURSE he's the one who rejected him!
DJ Nath: Boo Sun Boy.
Art-Girl: Okay, that is a really cool picture. But still. Screw Sun Boy.
Science Girl: What's up with those terrible snow boots?
Havana Nights: His collar is some fierce! I'm sad he lost his arm though.
Art-Girl: The outfits are cool, on both of them.
Lip-Bomb: He looks a bit like an elf.
Science Girl: He looks like he could play with pogs.
Art-Girl: *eye roll* He needs a skateboard in this picture, yeah.
DJ Nath: The color palette is aesthetically pleasing.
Shotgun: He's wearing jeans. That's... weirdly casual.
Havana Nights: I'm a fan of jeans.
DJ Nath: I guess if your on the B team you're better off not wearing a crazy suit.
Art-Girl: I like the blue hair. Very anime.
Lip-Bomb: The blue hair is pretty cool.  His boots seem very practical
DJ Nath: This outfit is the best one by far, he actually looks cool.
Art-Girl: The pic is epic!!! The ice, the flames, the dynamic movement.
Lip-Bomb: Very yin yang.
DJ Nath: Also, is he cold? Like, would he be cold to cuddle with or can he just create it?
Siskoid: Ahhh, probably, especially the ice arm.
DJ Nath: Yeah, the ice arm thing seems complicated. Couldn't take a bath together.
Shotgun: I like that he can control his powers enough to replace lost limbs.
Art-Girl: No bath together, no shower... this is complicated now.
Shotgun: And the friendship makes sense. Opposites attract.
Havana Nights: I think his friendship with Sun Boy might strain our relationship.
Siskoid: Maybe that's why Polar Boy has never had a girlfriend. That we know of.
Art-Girl: I just feel I couldn't handle a weekend BBQ with Sun Boy.
Havana Nights: "You're hanging out with who again?? Ugh."
Art-Girl: It would get annoying real fast. Like, I'd have to have that conversation about... does he need to come over? Again?
Shotgun: Also, I want that jacket.
Science Girl: He needs someone to melt his heart. ZING!
Siskoid: No wait, what I said isn't exactly true, I remember him being very popular at this juncture and all the girls wanting to kiss him.
Lip-Bomb: His bad-at-rhyming-ness appeals to me.
DJ Nath: He looks like Ron Perlman in this one.
Siskoid: He's a little drunk, like I said earlier, learning to have fun. Sun Boy is an influence.
Lip-Bomb: Why is he so drunk at midnight?
Art-Girl: ......... Sunnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Boyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
Shotgun: Ugh. Damn it Sun Boy.
Havana Nights: Uuugh.
DJ Nath: Yeah, I do like it, he knows it's not great, makes him seem more relatable. But yeah, Sun Boy strikes again.
Science Girl: #Relatable
Art-Girl: Like, I enjoy that he enjoys life, but why with Sun Boy?
Shotgun: Yup, it would be a problem.
Art-Girl: He's just bad news.
Siskoid: Probably because Sun Boy is one of the few single Legionnaires left.
Art-Girl: I wonder why.
Shotgun: I wonder why.
Science Girl: Wonder why.
Lip-Bomb: I wonder why.
Science Girl: LOL
Havana Nights: Of course he's single!
Art-Girl: HAHAHA!
Lip-Bomb: Hahaha wow.
DJ Nath: Haha guys.
Shotgun: Excellent.
Siskoid: Hilarious.
Lip-Bomb: Third panel is the best panel.
Shotgun: But wait... Isn't Sun Boy dead, his face crushed by a plane or something?
Siskoid: Well, it happens later, and Polar Boy was present and did not take it well.
Shotgun: Aw no...
Art-Girl: Awwwwwww.
Havana Nights: Awh.
Art-Girl: Now I feel bad.
Shotgun: We'll be his new friends.
Art-Girl: In Canada. He'll love it.
Havana Nights: And be compared to Sun Boy? No thanks.
Lip-Bomb: You know what... we wouldn't have to rent an ice rink. He could make an ice rink!  His power is basically freezing stuff, right?
Siskoid: All problems solved.
Art-Girl: He could ice rink my pool!
Havana Nights: And make us all ice helmets.
Science Girl: That's pretty chill. ZING!
DJ Nath: And it would be useful in summer to cool down.
Shotgun: To get back to that last pic, why the hell is there lipstick on his chest? Come on, gurlz, show some restraint!
Science Girl: They need to chill out, Shotgun?
Art-Girl: The girls lost control. And they ran out of room on the neck, so needed to go lower.
Lip-Bomb: Maybe it was a very drunk party he just left. Lip-eye coordination was gone.

The verdict
Havana Nights: I'm lukewarm. Not completely turned off, but not melting off my seat either.
Shotgun: I kinda like him. Natural leader, persevering, seems humble too.
DJ Nath: I feel like it's almost a hot, but it's also a bit of a not. He seems like a good person, humble and understated, but I feel like that's the problem. He seems a little blah.
Science Girl: Not! The frosted tips, the tiny brows, those outfits. He reminds me of the 90's in the worst way possible. Also, I don't want to have to hang out with Sun Boy.
Shotgun: I could actually forget the fact that he's friends with an a-hole. I could actually have girls' nights when they hang out together. At the same time, I feel like I'm not impressed enough for a definite Hot.
Lip-Bomb: I'm going to say hot-ish. He seems determined and ambitious and knows what he wants while still being a decent human being. White hair is pretty awesome. Plus, I like the powers. They're cool. Loses points for bad taste in friends.
Shotgun: This is all very complicated.
Art-Girl: He's leaving me cold. His look, I am not too into it, but the last one is pretty cool. His personality is great, being a go-getter is hot, humble is always nice. I like that he enjoys life which I need to do more. But that he's best friend with Sun Boy, that would really bug me after a while. Like every BBQ, every couples' game night, every brunch, he'd be there. I would get home from the gym, and he'd be on the couch... Arggggg!!! This one didn't melt my frozen heart!!!
Shotgun: I like how Sun Boy was a Not, but Polar Boy is kind of a Hot.
Lip-Bomb: Brek Bannin sounds a bit like a lawyer's name, doesn't it?
Siskoid: And he lawyered his way into the Legion.
Havana Nights: He did!
Art-Girl: Hahahaha sneaky git!
Siskoid: "Wave the constitutional age rule on the basis that I can prove Tharrians age slower!"
Havana Nights: Pffft.
Art-Girl: ....umhhhhhhhh... okay.
Siskoid: That was how they got around it.
Lip-Bomb: He looks 95, but actually 12.
Art-Girl: Ew.

Next: It's about family.
Shotgun: Furious Boy? Vin Diesel?
Lip-Bomb: I just realized that he's been in a car franchise forever with the name Diesel.
Art-Girl: ......... You just noticed that?
Lip-Bomb: Um, I don't think about Vin Diesel on a daily basis.
Science Girl: You don't? Shame.


  1. How do we know those kisses are from many girls, or consecutive kisses from one girl? We don't know his tastes & it's the future; maybe they came from one girl *all at once*. Lipful Laura or someone =)

    I love that Brek is a great booster for the Legion, but not it's best leader. He also had a touch of the politician to him, eventually alienating Tellus & Magnetic Kid his friends from being rookies together.
    And that he got his arm back.

  2. His height (or lack of it) was also kind of a distinctive visual trait for PB back pre-Crisis, wasn't it? Don't know if it's commendable or not that that wasn't brought up.


  3. I'm 6'4", so everyone seems short to me anyway. ;)