Saturday, January 2, 2016

Blok: Hot or Not?

Our group of candid women with no real Legion knowledge rock out on Blok and tell us if he's he Hot, or if he's Not.
Our honorary Legion members are...
Art-Girl - Her sister is a geologist. For real.
DJ Nath - Trained to teach History and English. One of these is relevant to the discussion. Co-star of Mind Linked, on You-Tube, with her sister Lip-Bomb.
Havana Nights - Rocking the puns today.
Science Girl - Stone cold.
Shotgun - Another former History student.
Moderator: Siskoid - Thinking Blok is one of the few Legionnaires not shorter than he is.

First impressions of Blok
Blok of the planet Dryad is, like all his people, a being made of near-invulnerable stone. One of the Legion's most dependable members, he is no dumb brute, but rather a philosophical and meditative thinker who takes his time when forming opinions. One term often used to describe him is "sweet", though the Legionnaires who love the fast life don't really have the patience to hang with him. He has an interest in Legion history and has become something of an expert. And no, he can't get "physical" with us humanoids, but he did carry on a sweet romance in the Legion, as we'll see.
Havana Nights: He's very bulky.
Art-Girl: He's like in Fantastic Four.
Shotgun: DAMN. A guy who likes history.
Science Girl: No nose. Not hot.
Art-Girl: You don't like the Voldemort look?
Science Girl: Nope.
Siskoid: Sometimes he has a nose, but not always. Comes and goes with the artist.
Art-Girl: A removable nose? Is that better, Science Girl?
Science Girl: Slightly.
Shotgun: For me, it's the absence of pupils and irises that throws me off.
DJ Nath: If we dated, I feel like I'd have to say "I gotta rock" all the time. I feel like he wouldn't like that.
Havana Nights: Awh... He's my rock.
Siskoid: That line was once used by someone who loves him, yes.
Art-Girl: Awwwwww.
Science Girl: He rocks my world?
Shotgun: I was right into the description before I realized his face was barely human.
Art-Girl: I want to say he could always have a hard-on!
DJ Nath: The outfit is a little silly, but he would make me feel less self-conscious about how big my feet are.
Science Girl: Shoulder pads and nothing else. It's very in.
Havana Nights: I guess they didn't have that much material on hand.
Shotgun: His pants/shorts are basically a huge wrestling belt or something.
Siskoid: You also get a couple of other styles in the background.
Shotgun: The one with the X, looks like he's wearing a sweet skirt.
Havana Nights: He's got rock hard abs, amIright?
Shotgun: Egyptian kinda look.
DJ Nath: Kind of cool that the more brute type is actually philosophical, that's interesting.
Shotgun: But with chains, cuz, you know, kinky.
Art-Girl: I like the contrast of his physical and intellectual.
Havana Nights: Yeah I like that... He's probably very drawn to nature too.
Art-Girl: What would he be like while camping, ladies?
Shotgun: I would lose him in the scenery. And then it would be awkward. Not sure he's a hiker anyway. And try to find a tent that fits this big a guy.
Art-Girl: I imagine he would stay there forever as part of nature.
Shotgun: Moss starts growing on his back.
Art-Girl: Just at one with nature.
Shotgun: Yeah basically.
DJ Nath: His eyes are pretty soulless though.
Art-Girl: They're just white, it scary!
Havana Nights: I guess it's hard when you don't have any.
Shotgun: He doesn't strike me as someone who smiles a lot.
DJ Nath: Yeah, seems very serious.
Siskoid: Even if he's smiling in the main picture?
Shotgun: Half a smile, but it doesn't read because of the eyes, I guess. Poor guy.
DJ Nath: It's a smile but you can barely tell. I do feel like we could attend poetry readings together.
Art-Girl: And hang out at the book store, and art galleries! He strikes me like the type who doesn't talk much, but as soon as someone gives him the chance, he has all the best stories and the best jokes, right cute.
Science Girl: True, but I'm not really into philosophy and stuff. I'm a scientist.
Havana Nights: Looks like he'd be a solid friend.
Science Girl: Ha!
Havana Nights: Thank you. Lib-Bomb isn't here, I gotta compensate.
Shotgun: It's cool that he's described as sweet. I like I nice guy.
DJ Nath: I can't imagine him on a public bus, don't know if that means anything, but I can't.
Shotgun: Mm, transport in general must be a problem.
Art-Girl: He seems to have the personality of Alphonse Elric in Full Metal Alchemist, like, a giant body, but sweet and caring.
Havana Nights: I'd laugh if in his spare time, he's a ballet dancer.
Science Girl: Yes please. Art-Girl, doodle a tutu on him. Please.
Havana Nights: Could he be into crochet too?
Siskoid: No! Moving on...

On his relationship to the White Witch
Blok's lady love was the White Witch (AKA Mysa Nal of Naltor), Dream Girl's much shyer sister, singularly born without the Naltorians' usual precognitive power, she trained to become a magic-user on Sorcerer's World instead. Unlike most magic-based superheroes, she must prepare her spells ahead of time, requiring study, strategy and long-term thinking. Perhaps that's why she fell for the rather sweet Blok. Though their romance could never be physical, their friendship and loyalty to one another only grew with time. She non-ironically calls him her "rock" and as two of the Legion's "misfits", they spent a lot of time together watching tapes, taking long walks, and discussing human nature.
Havana Nights: Watching tapes? What's that?
Siskoid: Future VHS.
Havana Nights: Ooohhh.
DJ Nath: Also, it's weird that only her armpits are colored.
Shotgun: What's going on with her outfit?
Havana Nights: I was thinking the same thing.
Science Girl: BROWWSSS!
Shotgun: Her shoulders are naked.
Science Girl: DEM BROWS!
Shotgun: I AM a fan of the skirt though.
Siskoid: That's how they pictured her pallor - white with flesh highlights.
DJ Nath: She has brows for days.
Art-Girl: I like her hair. Very anime.
Shotgun: Hair envy.
Art-Girl: Long and abnormal colors. I like.
Science Girl: That hair is so good.
Havana Nights: Their relationship sounds nice.
DJ Nath: I kind of like the outfit, the sleeves are odd but I feel like she would get some good twirls.
Shotgun: Magic tape to hold up her boobs.
Havana Nights: Ouch.
Shotgun: Her choker is freaking awesome.
DJ Nath: They sounds super cute together, two shy people together work pretty well, they get each other.
Science Girl: They can't get physical, I guess he got c*** blok-ed. ZIINNG
Art-Girl: Awwwww. Sad.
Shotgun: Mix between ugh and lol.
Science Girl: Sorrynotsorry.
Havana Nights: I guess she doesn't take him for granite. ;-)
Siskoid: Lol.
DJ Nath: Haha.
Science Girl: Zing, more like zinc!
Shotgun: I like that she has to prepare her spells, and that she had to study to get where she is.
Art-Girl: No. It wasn't just given to her. She was a hard worker, and passionate about it. That's hot.
Shotgun: Definitely.
DJ Nath: Yeah, they both seem pretty dedicated, that's hot.
Siskoid: Any thoughts on her being Dream Girl's sister?
DJ Nath: They seem very different.
Havana Nights: They've got good genes.
Shotgun: Between the two of them, I recognize myself more in the White Witch. I prefer her modesty to the more blatant hotness of Dream Girl.
Art-Girl: I like the idea of them as sisters.
Shotgun: It's fun to see a strong contrast between siblings.
DJ Nath: Dream Girl is more of a vixen, but White Witch seems more real to me. Both are hot.
Science Girl: I prefer Dream Girl's hair. So much flowww.
Shotgun: Not everyone in the same family needs to follow the same formula.
Art-Girl: I think White Witch is more down to Earth. I would get along with her far better.

On his recent change of look
Today, Blok is still at her side. He saved her soul and brought her back to the light when she absorbed the evil magics of one of the Legion's greatest foes Mordru and became the Black Witch. And she healed his injuries, giving him a new obsidian look. She now leads Sorcerer's World, and he is her steadfast consort and adviser.
Art-Girl: He saved her life. That's love! Sighhhhh.
Science Girl: Those shorts. Why.
DJ Nath: He is so buff.
Art-Girl: But check her out. She's gorgeous.
Shotgun: Her outfit is so badass.
Havana Nights: But the kissy frown is so weird.
Science Girl: That's a really nice dress.
Shotgun: So it's not the brows... it's her eyelashes that pop out.
Science Girl: Nope, it's her eyeliner that's on fleek.
DJ Nath: Awh man, true. Haha, winged liner?
Shotgun: Science Girl, you're pale. You could cosplay her.
Science Girl: So much.
Shotgun: Also, shout-out to our friends Dawnstar and Wildfire!
DJ Nath: I get that they wanted to give a nod to the past design but the shorts just look silly, does he ride a bike everywhere?
Art-Girl: I see a surfer with those shorts!
Havana Nights: He needs them to cover his rock penis.
Science Girl: I'm imagining him on a tiny bike. And it's funny.
Shotgun: I like how the floor is broken under his feet. Awkward. You don't live on the third floor with this guy. Poor neighbors.
DJ Nath: He's a modest rock man, that's cool I guess. Is he smooth or rough?
Siskoid: Rough originally, smooth in that last form.
DJ Nath: Ok, so you need to be careful while cuddling.
Siskoid: Stats - he is 7'2" and 975 lbs.
Shotgun: So Robert Maillet.
Science Girl: Basically.
Art-Girl: I like tall men. I could wear all my 4-inch heels all day, every day.
Havana Nights: 7'2"! Holy Moley!
Shotgun: If he's 7'2", how tall is she? 6'10"?!
Art-Girl: She has heels, but she's still tall!
Science Girl: One-foot heels.
Siskoid: She's 5'8".
Art-Girl: She's my height?
Science Girl: Eessshh.
Art-Girl: She is way taller then me!!!
Siskoid: I'm thinking he lost some matter over time from erosion and my stats are out of date.
Havana Nights: Hahaha erosion.
Art-Girl: We need facts, Siskoid!
DJ Nath: That's an interesting problem to have.
Havana Nights: I guess you'd have to worry about that, wouldn't you.
Science Girl: How sad would it be, if he just eroded away?
DJ Nath: Goes in a hot tub, comes out two feet shorter.
Art-Girl: Can't take a shower too often.
Siskoid: How much erosion do you think there is in a hot tub?!
Science Girl: Like, so much.
Art-Girl: All of it!
Science Girl: Trust me, I'm a scientist.
DJ Nath: I mean, if you stay for a while.
Art-Girl: Science Girl is 100% accurate about science at all times.
Science Girl: Buy my book. "100% Super True Science Facts About Stuff." That's what I got you all for Christmas.
Shotgun: Thanks for the dedication in mine.
Science Girl: Order now and use code HOTORNOT for 40% off.
Shotgun: I like the contrast between their colors.
Science Girl: Ebony and ivory. Living in perfect harmony.
DJ Nath: Even though they are clearly way different, they do look nice together.
Art-Girl: They're the couple I would stack on Instagram. And like all their cute photos.
Shotgun: I agree.
Art-Girl: And they would have the cutest house with the cute pet. They're the neighbors who are cooler than you, but for good reason, because they're good people.
Havana Nights: They seem very nice. I'd probably feel inadequate next to them.
DJ Nath: So here's where Siskoid tells us she died.
Science Girl: Don't break my heart, Siskoid.
Siskoid: No, this is their current fate.
Shotgun: Aaawww yay!
Science Girl: Good.
DJ Nath: That's great, good for them.
Art-Girl: I AM SO HAPPY!
Havana Nights: I feel like she bakes. She must bake.
DJ Nath: Cupcakes.
Art-Girl: More like French macaroons. Like, super delicate pastries. Mille-feuilles and crème brulées and soufflés.
Havana Nights: And then he tries to handle the delicate pastries and it just doesn't work and it's adorable.
Shotgun: But what's a cake when you're used to making explosive potions and time spells and whatnot?
Science Girl: I bet she has the softest voice.
Art-Girl: I imagine a Cate Blanchett-type voice.
Science Girl: Like, she would make those weird YouTube videos were people just speak softly into high quality microphones.
Shotgun: I have no idea what sort of stuff she makes, but I'm sure it's badass.
Siskoid: Of course, it's a love that can't be consummated, Dryadans aren't mammals or even "animals".
Havana Nights: Ok, he's literally a rock.
Siskoid: Old Dryadans become sleeping stones, if I remember my Encyclopedia Galactica.
DJ Nath: OMG that's the cutest thing.
Art-Girl: Sleeping stones?
Havana Nights: Haha, I read stepping stones and thought that was sad.
Art-Girl: Awwwwwwww.
Siskoid: They have females, and they look just like Blok does, but are made of crystal instead of stone. They don't have female curves or anything. They look like hulking brutes just like Blok.
DJ Nath: That's pretty cool.
Science Girl: #genderneutral?
Shotgun: How do they procreate? If I may ask.
Siskoid: That's private.
Havana Nights: Are they fragile? Cause that ain't cool.
Siskoid: They are not fragile, no.
Havana Nights: Ah ok. The crystal I have is fragile.
DJ Nath: Tough crystal ladies.
Art-Girl: Quartz is fragile but other crystals are quite strong, like diamonds.
Havana Nights: Ooohhhh.
Siskoid: I should have said "crystalline". They're not made of glassware.
Shotgun: Crystalline's a girl's best friend?
Art-Girl: I would like to see the contrast between curves and the straight line of the crystal, it would be a interesting visual.
Science Girl: Are they payed 70 cents for every stone Dryadan's dollar?
Siskoid: Here's Strata, a female of the species.
DJ Nath: She's super badass.
Havana Nights: I'll take a tall glass of that on the rocks ;-).

The verdict
Havana Nights: Uhm, he seems nice. But that's about it. I can't see myself dating a rock. A rock star, sure.
DJ Nath: Well, the no sex thing is obviously a bummer. He sounds really awesome though, introspective and philosophical, maybe a bit too intense for me. But his sweetness is a major bonus. I feel like we would most likely be friends more than anything, but if I did love him, it would be intense love.
Science Girl: He's nice and all, but I just don't feel the chemistry. It's not him, it's me. I think we should just be friends.
Shotgun: I was really into his description. He's sweet, he thinks before he speaks. Kind of a historian, so bonus points. The physical barrier is really dull. Then again, it's not all about sex per se, so we could get around that more or less easily.
Art-Girl: At the start,I was going for a big Not, but the more I got to know him, I warmed up to him. His personality was the first thing I was attracted to but the physical part was the kind of a deal breaker. I would still have to give it a try. I would go on a few date to see what would happen. The no sex thing would be hard to get adjusted to! I would love to be his friend, his gentle nature is to die for. I would date his girlfriend though! I would buy her all the martinis and bring her to the fanciest restaurant and just listen to her talk forever!
Shotgun: Thing is... I'm way more into White Witch than I am into him. She's a frickin' badass and I know we'd get along really well. I don't want to break up their couple anyway. They're awesome together. They deserve to be happy. I won't interfere. So Blok = Hot, but I don't see myself with him regardless; White Witch = HHOOOOTTT!!!

Next: A call back to one of your favorites.
Science Girl: Sun Boy Lad?


  1. Was there ever a story in the last version that deliberately walked back the death from 5yl that you skipped over this time, or was that part of what got quietly retconned?

  2. We've been retrobooted for a while now, and 5YL never happened.

  3. I thought it was pick-and-choose, but sure. You also left out the volcanic acne look, now that I think of it.

  4. Only the Threeboot and Retroboot ran concurrently. 5YL has been dead since Zero Hour.

  5. And as usual, my task is not overwhelming these non-nerds with too much minutia. I go for the iconic forms of these characters, and let the discussion tell me if I should divulge something or not.

  6. I'm sure they would have loved knowing he was a bad boy turned good :)

  7. Well, more like manipulated into hating the wrong people. Although he should have figured something was up when they called themselves "Super-Assassins".