Saturday, April 4, 2015

Lightning Lad: Hot or Not?

After our Legion Reservists tore Cosmic Boy a new one, Lightning Lad certainly had cause to fear. This is what happens when you make a group of women with no real Legion lore a male Legionnaire and ask them for their first impressions...
Our honorary Legion members are...
Art Girl - A real visual artist whose tastes tend to anime more than American comics, the type of person who's likely to cosplay the Emerald Eye of Ekron.
DJ Nath - The group's empath, she somehow KNOWS who the Legionnaires are on sight alone. Like, REALLY knows them. From the INSIDE.
Lip-Bomb -Nath's sister is on her first participation so is guiltless of crimes committed against Cos. She's the other half of the sisterly You-Tube channel Mind Linked.
Havana Nights - A divorcee has her own take on what makes a man attractive, and we know she's made bad decisions before ;-).
Shotgun - Blasts away with unfiltered opinions. Che-CHIK. Uh-oh.
Moderator: Siskoid, behind Brainiac 5's force field.

First impressions on Lightning Lad
Real name Garth Ranzz. One of the three Legion founders, he can throw electricity around. He hails from a planet of twins, and his twin sister is also a Legionnaire (with the same powers). His older brother, not a twin, is the villain Lightning Lord. He's a hothead, brash and impetuous. He tends to leap before he looks.
Art Girl: No, so many noes, it's not even funny. The face in the background... horror.
Havana Nights: Ok, he looks a little crazy... But I'm not hating that completely.
DJ Nath: Lightning bolts on the shoulders are cool.
Havana Nights: Sometimes he has a cape, sometimes not... Is he diverse or indecisive?
Shotgun: He's a redhead... No!
Havana Nights: Hahaha, Shotgun's comments can probably be all summed up as "REDHEAD".
Art Girl: And his costume... my eyes go directly to the la crotch area. Bad... good... I'm not sure!!!!
DJ Nath: The white and blue-black kind of makes me think of killer whales though.
Art Girl: Ha yes! The costume would be amazing at Marine Land!
Lip-Bomb: I can't unsee the whale thing now...
DJ Nath: I like the hair flip though.
Art Girl: You mean he has "flow".
Lip-Bomb: He definitely looks like he wouldn't deal well with a break-up.
Havana Nights: Yeah, no, he's not the kind you'd want to be in a relationship with.
Lip-Bomb: I feel like he would laugh really loudly at parties.
DJ Nath: Yes.
Shotgun: The close-up of his face gives him an evil look. Or a rather cocky or pretentious one.
Havana Nights: See, I kind of like that...
Shotgun: Maybe it's related to his older brother being evil. Must be hard on someone.
DJ Nath: I don't like his teeth in the close-up.
Havana Nights: I agree with that though.
Lip-Bomb: Yeah, the smile is unsettling. Too many teeth.
Havana Nights: ALL OF THE TEETH.
Shotgun: He looks sure of himself, that's a plus. And lightning is a cool power.
Havana Nights: I feel like he's just the kind of guy I'd love to hate. And hate to love.

On being married to Saturn Girl and being a dad
Siskoid: Would you be surprised if I told you - relationship-wise - that he's married and has kids? Saturn Girl is Lightning Lad's wife and the mother of his children. She's a telepath, cool and reasoned in every way he isn't. She's more of a leader than he is.
DJ Nath: Yes, I am surprised.
Shotgun: Married wow!
Havana Nights: I am surprised too! Didn't expect a hothead to be stable enough for a relationship. Also, he doesn't look like the best role model.
Art Girl: Married with kids? Surprised yesssss!!!!! To Saturn Girl, lame version of Sailor Saturn, one of the true heroes!!! And wow, check out the boobs on her!!! Her hair makes me think of Kitty's from That 70s Show. Telepath... She controls minds like Professor X from the X-Men, and un-douches Lightning Lad. He can't resist her and it's off to the bedroom to get it done!
Lip-Bomb: She looks too practical to be married to him.
Havana Nights: He's the guy who destroys the house while playing with the kids.
DJ Nath: He looks more like the type of guy who would rather challenge people to flip cup competitions than be in a stable relationship.
Siskoid: They were, in fact, the first Legion couple to marry.
Havana Nights: Did he yell "FIRST!" when they did? He has a frat guy vibe.
Shotgun: But he looks like he cares for his kid though; that's hot.
DJ Nath: A good dad is pretty awesome. DILF City?
Havana Nights: The dad thing does turn me off though. You don't fool around with a dad.
Siskoid: Yes, a good dad. Only one of his kids became a villain. In comics, that's something.
DJ Nath: Haha.
Lip-Bomb: Put that on your resume!

On his current look
Havana Nights: Ooooooonhh hello.
Shotgun: Oooooooohhhh me likey!
Lip-Bomb: There's something kinda Hawkeye-Dragonball Z about that.
DJ Nath: Boo. Points for face in close-up, but not a fan of the outfit, too anime.
Art Girl: Yes Nath! Anime outfit and I love it!!!
Havana Nights: Sorry, but I LIKE the unkept look they gave him.
Lip-Bomb: I prefer the face in this. More rough and tumble without the psychopath teeth.
Shotgun: The long, messy hair and the five o'clock shadow... Gee!!!
Art Girl: Long flowing hair, nice afternoon shadow, mannnnn all of the stuff yum!!! And bad boys, mmmm, does he have a tattoo because mmmmmmm even more.
Shotgun: Also more blond than ginger in this one!
DJ Nath: Yeah, which makes more sense, I think, considrering the color of lightning.
Havana Nights: I don't care either way about him being blonder... But the eyes! Yum!
DJ Nath: Face is much better, that's for sure.
Lip-Bomb: I like the hair wayyyyyy better.
Havana Nights: Oh definitely.
DJ Nath: Especially in comparison with the previous look, yes. I wish his suit was a darker blue, I think I would like it more.
Shotgun: But then he'd still look like a killer whale.
Lip-Bomb: Those boots… dear God.
Havana Nights: Yeah, current look over past look. But still not relationship material for me.
Lip-Bomb: I feel like this version is even less interested in a relationship, sits at the bar and doesn't talk to anyone, while the previous one banged you once and never called back.
DJ Nath: Lightning never hits the same spot twice, am I right?
[general laughter and high-fiving Nath]

On Calum Worthy as Smallville's live action Lightning Lad
Siskoid: He's had one live action incarnation, on Smallville...
Art Girl: SMALLVILLE YES, ALL OF THE YES... But only for Tom Welling. I had a poster of him in my high school locker... [gets far away look]
Siskoid: may skew a little young for you guys but here it is:
Lip-Bomb: Not gonna lie, I kinda want that jacket.
DJ Nath: I would wear it too.
Havana Nights: Dweeeeeeb.
Shotgun: Well the name Lightning "Lad" fits better.
DJ Nath: Also, the word Lad is not getting you laid... In the live action version, he looks like a sweet kid.
Shotgun: And he has a Bieber haircut... Nope.
DJ Nath: Might be good at math something.
Havana Nights: But I can see how this kid will one day become the douche from earlier. He has a look in his eye; I just don't trust him.
Shotgun: His smirk makes me think he's hiding something.
Lip-Bomb: Agreed, I think that's why I can't decide if he's cool or a jerk. I do like the slight arrogance.
Shotgun: But I can see an evolution between the three versions. From live action to recent look to killer whale dad.
DJ Nath: Killer Whale Dad, title of my new book.

The verdict
Siskoid: So ultimately, Lightning Lad... Hot or Not?
Havana Nights: I'd find him hot, but never admit it.
DJ Nath: I think hot but, I would never date him. Kind of guy you know who's attractive, but there's nothing there.
Art Girl: Not hot... I'll go for the new look and be a bad girl with him!
Shotgun: For me, it's a hot as long as he's not full-on ginger.
Lip-Bomb: I like the red hair, jeez! Anyway... Hot, but from far away. No real spark.
DJ Nath: Haha, zing!
Shotgun: Honestly, I've got nothing against redheads... I just think it's funny to pretend I do... I mean Hiddleston AND Cumberbatch are ginger, after all, and [melts just thinking about it]

Well, one of the Reservists has gone all melty, we'll just have to pick this up in two weeks when the girls meet their first alien-looking Legionnaire!

No comments:

Post a Comment