Monday, November 3, 2014

The Legion Constitution Article 4: Getting Expelled

Calling this meeting to Order! 
A review of the Legion Constitution by Siskoid

Being the third of several essays on the bureaucratic choke hold the Legion Constitution has on Superboy's "student council". Legionnaires may find it a bit too much to handle, and so...

What does it take to GET OUT of being a member of the Legion?Nothing, actually. You can man up and just quit when you've outgrown it.
You can quit for no reason, but you'll be back. You'll be back.

You can also be put on "less active" duty. All the perks of a real Legionnaire with only the obligations of a reserve member. They won't even give your spot away to some newbie with cool powers. But beware the fine print. You're not really a free agent and you can't start breaking the Legion's rules. YOU'RE ONLY ON A BREAK!

4.3(i) basically says that if the reasons why we liked you in the first place vanish, we can kick you out of the club. Club only wants you for your Xbox or your car. In the Legion's case, don't you go losing your powers or control over them, or start being a meanie or a coward. If I read the document right, in the advent the Terran population suddenly developed, say, intelligence of the highest order, they could finally kick Brainiac 5's hazardous ass out of the Legion.
Ah yes, the day the entire Legion was forced to quit.

As for 4.3(ii), it's so obvious, no one would ever break it, right? Right. See Article 5.
Even if THIS is your leader?
I mean, she's clearly inventing constitutional amendments. Can she do that?

No, no she can't.
Like so:
And if you can throw in a couple of puns re: your powers, all the better.

No one needs to hear about this, for example:
Lightning Lad WILL have your head.

Well, OF COURSE you can't kill. Not if you based your superhero club on the Silver Age adventures of Superboy, Superman, and Supergirl.
What the--?!? That is HARSH, son!

Every Legionnaire has a right to a fair trial, at least. We all remember when Star Boy apparently killed someone in self-defense.
 And how Superboy turned out to be a lot more to the right than previously believed.
But in the end...
Seems like Star Boy's career is one long list of reasons for him NOT to be in the Legion, doesn't it?

Whoooooahhhhhhhh! A Zatanna Clause?!? I didn't know this! Holy crap! Can I exercise my rights under 4.1?

The present session is lifted for the moment. When it resumes: What would I do in the Legion anyway?

This article was originally published in some form at Siskoid's Blog of Geekery.


  1. Unbelievable and awesome!

    A 'Zatanna' clause!

    I should have read the fine print of this document long ago!

  2. You did! You just forgot all about it...